As a homeschool Mom, I was dreading the day I would hear, "I hate homeschool. I want to go to public school." For most homeschool parents that day comes. You may hear it more than once or twice even. But I was dreading it. Secretly hoping it would never come, that my children would naturally love being at home with us and learning with us more than that big ol' cold building across the street. But I knew I would face this day with my little social butterfly. I knew it was coming.
Since she could talk, her first question every morning has been, "What donnin' day?" (What are we doing today?) If the answer was nothing, you could see the disappointment in her eyes. No grand adventures today? No people to see? No new places to discover? No long, exhilirating hours out in the world!??? OH the tragedy of it all!!!!
When she was a little girl, those days at home all day were often the hardest. I was faced with one bored little girl. Toys? Who needs toys? She wanted people to be around, to talk to and basically rope into adoring her. Because who wouldn't adore my sweet, beautiful oldest social butterfly.
I KNEW this day in homeschool would come with her. She would much rather be with people. And she's much rather be just like everyone else and not be different.
She also doesn't love or even really like anything about schooling. She'd rather flit from activity to activity. She picks up a book, looking at page 1, 2, 3 then 15 and back to 10. She'd rather change her baby doll's diaper, feed it, put it to sleep. Jump over to her bird and talk to her for a while. Change out Anna's bird food and water, play a song on the piano, run around the room like a horse on all fours, play the piano song again half way through, flip off the piano and run back to the book. This time reading page 22, 21, 50 and 4. In that order. There is nothing remotely exciting about finally finishing ALL the multiplication tables. Day 100 of school? hmmm, how's that different from day 27, 40 and 53?? The Trojan's, what's so exciting about a big wooden horse (this from my HORSE LOVER). The men could crawl inside the horse and sneak inside the city. hmmm. Write an entire Psalm in BEAUTIFUL cursive, so.
She asks me about 5 times a day, can I text Abby? She CRAVES interaction with people. The three other humans in her home will do for a little bit but... She's an active, people lovin, free spirited darling. I wouldn't trade her for the world. But she'd rather do anything but school. And if public school means being around people well then of COURSE, in her mind that's the much better option. She doesn't remember what it was like to sit at a desk almost all day everyday. To be forced to do roat memorization for hours on end. To listen and not speak for hours. To do it exactly as the teacher means for you to, and no other way, no questions asked. She doesn't know about that part...
I totally get that. And I think it's beautiful that God has given her such a heart for people. I KNOW this is her gifting and He's going to use it in a powerful way in her life.
We have chosen homeschool for very specific reasons. Very solid reasons surrounded in prayer. I knew in my heart when we were deciding whether to homeschool or not that this would be her struggle. But I KNOW that God called us to this. He has called us to homeschool. So we might disciple our children in His Word from the very beginnning and how His word has an impact on all knowledge and wisdom. So that we may teach them freedom of thought and to love themselves and others because of who we are in God's eyes. So we may travel and minister as a team, a whole family, each with our gifts that give to this ministry and make it what it is. So that they may see real life, and not be locked into 4 walls all day everyday with the same 30 others kids the same age as they. So that they will learn to be responsible and functioning adults from early on, as we guide them in the ways of daily life from a godly perspective.
If it weren't for these very specific reasons we have chosen homeschool, I might have given up by now. Hearing those words from her this week, they might have been the ax to the root of my homeschool tree. If it weren't for the fact that we are called to this.
This morning our Bible scripture was 1 Samuel 8. I didn't plan this, it was on the schedule. God did it! The Isrealites asked for a king. The reason they wanted one was striking to me. They wanted a king because all the other nations around them had one. They wanted to be like everyone else. They didn't want to be set apart. They didn't want to experience exactly what God had for them, because it made them different. It meant a certain level of separation to follow completely what God had called that people to. They didn't like to be set apart, to live holy lives. They wanted to be like those around them.
Hana sat and listened to our study this morning with her face half hidden behind her turtle neck. She knew this applied to her desire to be like all the other kids and to be with the other kids in public school. And the sheepish grin on her face spoke volumes.
We talked about how God wanted to save them from all kinds of heart ache. The Israelites saw how cool it looked to have a king. They saw the pomp and circumstance, but they didn't think about the heartache and hardship that comes with having a king, a fallable leader who might not walk with God. God wanted to protect them from that. But they insisted they must have a king. They did not want to be set apart for a Holy King, they wanted to be like everyone else.
I pray that Hana's heart will see that being set apart and not being exactly like all the other kids is God's special plan for her life. She is set apart for a Holy King. He has special plans for her life, and we want to prepare her fully for what He has for her in the future. I pray her heart will accept that. I pray she'll find contentment in what the King of kings has for her.