The Middle wife...

Saw this on a friends FB page and just had to share... this is so funny!

The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

It's 3:51 am, not good...

so someone called the house twice in the middle of the night and let the phone ring only once. The second call I was wide awake and thinking of who might be in America needing to talk to me but chickening out after every time the dialed the phone. So couldn't sleep and came downstairs.

Decided at least to check with Mom, called her and they are fine. Whoever called and woke me up, may their hair turn green, and their eye lashes fall off! UGH! (wow that was incredibly spiteful! this is what 4 am does to me, makes me mean, very very mean)

especially after I had such a wonderful day with my little family. I DID have to go speak at chapel this morning, but after that was over I took a long afternoon nap, while KaiKai was also taking a long afternoon nap. I went to pick up Hana-baby from preschool and we had a fun little shopping trip to get stuff to make dinner. I came home and leisurely made dinner while playing with my kiddos on and off. We had a nice long dinner together, laughing and talking and Rocky and I even enjoyed a cup of tea after dinner. Then I had a fun bath time with both my kiddos. I had a nice long bath myself after they were in bed. Then I read the last of my book and... well let me just say it was a WONDERFUL evening!

I can't tell you how long it has been since we had a normal day like that. Normal, relaxing, being at HOME! I even had time to wash a put away all the dishes. It has been months since we had such a normal evening. Or at least it feels that way.

but it did my heart good. I just really really love my family. I love having the time and energy to cook and clean and play with the kids and enjoy tea and a nice bath!

I need to go back to bed...

I survived!

Wow, what a month we had. But I survived it. Technically it is not over yet, but I can handle what is left of this month. Next week I speak at another chapel and teach some more English/Bible classes. I don't really mind those, especially since they are my last ones this month and we have next month off.

I had to put down all my research and planning for home school for two weeks and now I feel like I have forgotten most of what I wanted to do and get prepared for. I have to get back into the groove of that again.

And I am going to, have to, MUST get back on the wagon with my health and fitness. I am tired of eating junk and not making time for myself to work out! It is time to get back to it. Kai is six months old now, so I think I can make the time again. And I know it will make me feel better when I get going. I was able to workout for a couple days earlier this month and it felt so good. Can't wait to get back to it.

A million other things to do as well, but I don't even feel like thinking about those things tonight. I just wanted to put it down for the record, I am still alive and kicking! God really really blessed us this month, I still can't believe that I get to do what we do!

It is raining like crazy here right now. There have been lots of accidents because of the rain too. It looks like a week of rain for us here, so I am not looking forward to that. Don't know when I'm going to get all this laundry done if I can't hang it out to dry. Our dryer takes way too long and wrinkles the clothes way too much. I just might have to head to the public laundry early next week!

I'm off to be read a book in bed. ahhhhhhhhh, it is such bliss to have to time to read a book. Ever noticed that bliss is just one letter different from bless! God is blessing me with free time! Thank you Lord!

This months is gonna be busy!

This will probably be the only chance I get to blog this month, or at least until the end of the month. We are going to be crazy busy over the next couple of weeks.

CMA comes on Monday, I can't wait! They'll be here for a week. Then we go to Bible camp for several days. All of that including our regular schedule of Bible studies, chapel services, English classes and so forth. I am looking forward to August when we have NOTHING on the schedule. Can you believe that? NOTHING! We're gonna vacation, take it easy, clean house, chill out, plan a birthday party for a precious little girl, clean house (did I already mention that one?);) etc. etc. etc. we so need some down time.

I decided on a kindergarten homeschool curriculum and it has been ordered! I can't wait to get my hands on it. There is so much information on the internet as well though. It really is unbelievable all that is out there! I could create my own curriculum with all that is available, but who has time or energy for that!?

Well I need to get a shower and get ready for bed! Maybe I'll pop in again at some point during the month!