I am STILL a foreigner!

Sometimes I forget that I am a foreigner here in Japan. Daily life feels so much a part of me, understanding everything that goes on around me, being able to read a lot of what is around me, etc. It all just feel so normal. This is my home. So sometimes I really do forget that I am a foreigner. I completely forget that I look different. EVERY once-in-a-while a little kid will stare at me, and I'll remember that you can tell by looking at me that I am not Japanese, but even these occasions can be rare. Then days like today come along and I get a strong reminder.

For some reason, today EVERYTHING around me was screaming "FOREIGNER!!!"

When I took Hana preschool this morning, I was standing near a couple of little two year olds who were playing on the floor and they noticed my toenails. I painted them pink a couple days ago and they dropped all their toys and headed for my toes. They were touching them and looking at each other like, "what is this?". I moved across the room once, and in a few moments again realized that something was still touching my toes. They had followed me and were continuing to observe my toes while I put some more of Hana's things in the proper places for the day. Then as I went to the door of the room to go out, they followed me again and continued to touch my toes. I remember growing up, my pastor's wife Carol telling me about her first Sunday at church in Africa when they were missionaries there. She wore stockings, and all the people in the church were mesmerized and the children wouldn't stop touching her legs (at least I think this is how the story went, that's how I remember it at least). Today in that moment I thought of Carol, and I was laughing to myself. I felt like I was re-living her experience, with these little Japanese kids so mesmerized by my painted toe nails (although that isn't such an uncommon thing here).

Then we made a trip to Costco to get some necessary items and while I was there I heard some comments from people around me about the tall, VERY pale skinned foreigner. No doubt about it, that is me. The only thing is, to be called pale skinned here is a COMPLIMENT! (Those of you who know how hopelessly WHITE I am will understand how much I appreciate that God sent me to Japan to be a missionary, where my hopelessly white skin is admired!!!) *wink, wink*

Then on the way to pick Hana up from pre-school this afternoon, in at least three separate locations I had little old ladies going on and on about the foreigner as they watched me walk by. It is rather amusing because they assume I can not understand what they are saying, and I hear and understand EVERY word!

Anyways, today I was reminded that I am not Japanese. I really forget that I look different here sometimes. I forget that this is not REALLY my country, because on the inside of me it is home! But the outside is still foreign!

Let the summer begin...

Oh, it was HOT and MUGGY today! I just couldn't bring myself to walk Hana to preschool this morning because I was all ready to go speak at chapel and I just knew my make-up would all melt off on the way down to her school (a mile walk). I'm not sure I'm ready for the hot humid summer this year. I always HATE it! I really love spring and fall in Japan. I used to love winter, but I don't enjoy that anymore either. It is rainy season right now too which is not fun either. I loved April and May, they went by way too quickly.

This summer is going to be so busy. Lots of travel in the near future. I do hope I survive. Some our travels are going to include taking trains, and hauling luggage and a 12 kilo "baby" up and down stairs and through train stations! Whooo, I get tired just thinking about it.

But the one GREAT thing about this time of year before the busy summer starts, is that we are usually at home in the evenings which means I get to go work out very regularly! Things are going well in that department. Today is even Tuesday and my gym is closed on Tuesday. Hana was in bed right on time tonight and I didn't have anything to do, so I strapped on my OLD worn out tennis shoes and went for a walk/jog. I was out for almost 30 minutes, I did speed walking for about 15 min and jogging for about 15 min. My shins are already feeling it! but it felt great. This evening is cool and not very humid! It felt really great. I could have gone longer but kept thinking my shins weren't going to hold out. I always had really bad shin splints in High School too. I guess some things never change. One of these days I'm gonna get some awesome jogging shoes and maybe that won't be a problem!

Anyways, I am seeing 61 kilo on the scales EVERY once in a while the last week or so. But only in the morning. I'm not trying to lose more weight, but I am mostly trying to shape my legs more and in that process I am sure I will lose a bit more. Toning my legs is the LAST on my "to do" list and then I'm just going to maintain. I might branch out and try some aerobics classes, or even the pool. I was watching a water aerobics class while on the elliptical last night and it looked really fun. But to try it means I'd need a bathing suite that fits, and a swimming cap. I don't think any of my old bathing suites are going to fit anymore... which means I gotta spend MORE money on clothes. Man, losing weight sure can get expensive!

I wore a size 5 slacks today, comfortably! It is amazing to be back in that size!!! Amazing! I am LONGING for a trip back to the states to go clothes shopping. We are considering using our AA mileage to go to Guam for a vacation. AA has changed their rules and mileage will expire from now on so we have to use ours! Oh I do hope the Guam trip works out. It would be SO fun!

well that was just a ton of rambling cause I am putting off doing other things this evening...

guess I better go do some things!

The mission family...

When you live overseas like this, away from "family" then so many people become your family. All the missionaries are Aunt Jane and Uncle Bob to the kids. The missionaries you serve alongside are like big brothers and sister (ok, someday soon, maybe there will be some younger ones that will feel like my "little" brothers and sisters! but I still seem to be the baby, as I always have been, in the family). This is truely a beautiful thing! This type of family is priceless and precious. Something about sharing the same calling, the same desire to reach the same lost people, sharing the same frustration with a foreign culture, sharing the same joys and struggles with language and cultural barriers, understanding why you pointed to your nose instead of your chest when refering to yourself, or why you can never remember certain English words anymore, being able to throw in foreign words without a pause in the flow of your conversation, sharing a life that is sometimes so impossible to understand for those who've never been "here". It makes being on the field even more of a blessing, and makes it easier.

But the hardest part about it is, missionaries are often in motion. Going home for a year, or 6 months, or so. Moving to another city to start a new ministry or church plant. Leaving the field...

I found out today that some of my mission family members are leaving Japan. We haven't lived very near one another for a long while. We rarely ever see each other. But there is just something about knowing they are in the same country that makes them still feel close. When an ocean seperates you, even though the email still works the same, and the phone can be just as easily picked up, there is just something so distant about that. An ocean. A different country. Another continent. Family...

Japan seems a little lonlier tonight, just thinking about more precious family moving away.

I am so blessed to know some of the most incredible missionaries in the world, who've devoted years of their life to bringing the Gospel to one of the most difficult nations to evanglize in the World. Precious, precious people.

MY family!

MONDAY!

I guess sometimes Monday's will be Monday's. You know, the typical "bad day" thing that usually goes with Monday. I usually don't have "Monday's". All my days of the week are basically the same, we don't really have a weekend in our line of work. Sometimes we are busy ALL the time (most of the time this is the case) and sometimes our schedule is random. You just never know. So Monday doesn't usually stand out that much. But today, I had a MONDAY.

My morning went fairly well, but Hana came home from pre-school in a very demanding NEEDY mood. She was impossible to deal with. I knew she needed/wanted attention but even trying to play with her didn't work, she was being rude and ungrateful about EVERYTHING. My solution for this behavior is, if you don't play nice then Mommy doesn't play AT ALL. She could NOT handle me getting up and walking away from our activities when she was being unkind. So we had SEVERAL meltdowns this afternoon. Once Daddy finished up his work and tried to help out he got a dose of the same medicine, and had to deal with a couple of fits too. She was just out of sorts today. Too tired, or something? I don't know, but it left us both really frustrated and we were very glad when bedtime rolled around.

Then my workout was HORRIBLE. I just didn't have the energy today. I had a LOT of carbs yesterday, and I think that is what zapped me. I had some rice AND bread at the cook-out lunch (it was served to me and I felt I had to eat it) and then we decided to treat ourselves to PB&J sandwiches for dinner. I considered just having one piece of bread and folding it in half, but I haven't had a pb&j for YEARS and I REALLY wanted to enjoy a good one, so I did two slices. And this isn't your basic sandwich bread it was the really thick slices. That was way too much bread for me. So even though I ate well today, I think I am still paying for this weekend, and my workout was just crummy. I struggled to finish everything, and only did 35 minutes of cardio. ugh! I did treat myself to a nice time in the sauna and cold pool a couple of times after my shower.

So now I can barely keep my eyelids open! Hopefully a nice long sleep and tomorrow will be a better day!

The weekend!

What a GREAT weekend we had!

Saturday morning I was up and going to prepare for English Circle, and we headed out the door to our friend's house. Well, just Hana and I, Daddy is neck deep in CD production right now, so we left him at home to all his mixing and mastering!!!

English Circle started out as "English preschool" sometime last year when my friend Yukie and I decided we wanted to do some preschool with our kids together. Yukie invited friends, and we had a small group of about 6-8 kids twice a month for some fun time in English. It went well, but the beginning of "real" preschool for some this Spring meant that weekdays were out of the question. So we switched to Saturdays, re-organized our purpose and thoughts, re-named it and started again. Twice a month on Saturdays we get together. There have been few in attendance lately because Saturday isn't the best time for everyone. But this week! WOW! We had 6 "students" and 3 "mini-students" (younger siblings of students). It was a BLAST! I could see the kids have all learned things. They enjoy the activities and it feels so good to be their little "teacher"! We had a great Saturday.

Today was Sunday and it was another great day. Rocky filled the pulpit (it was a BIG pulpit to fill too, literally, that thing was so huge Rocky refused to stand behind it, and I couldn't blame him) for another church in town this morning. Then after the service we headed across town to a church member's house (our own church) for a cook-out. We spent the afternoon feeding our faces and talking non-stop with church friends. I LOVE the people in our church. It was soooooo much fun today!

Now another new week begins. I'm sure there are a lot of things I need to do, but I will sit down and organize my thoughts tomorrow!

NOW for my own fitness journal-ing (this part is probably boring for all of you so you can stop reading if you want!) I just journal this stuff for my own sort of record keeping, self-motivation, accountability kinda reasons. (There are a few people who keep me accountable by mentioning that they read my blog! and that helps keep me in line! *wink wink* you know how you are!)

I've given up on weekends. It is just impossible to find a way to get to the gym in the middle of the day. So I am resigned to waiting until I can buy a decent pair of running shoes and can go for a jog, before I can work out on the weekends. I'm having major shoe issues in Japan right now, but that is another blog!

BUT last week I made it to the gym 3 times, and all three times did my 50 minutes on the elliptical. I did close to 750 calories each time!!!!!!! AND I lifted weights each time. Then on Wednesday the gym was having a special. You can do this body scan thing and it usually cost 1,000 yen but on Wed. it was 100 yen. So I decided to do it! My scores were EXCELLENT! I was so excited. I'd give anything to have these stats from before I started my fitness program last year. My BMI and so forth is right on target. This machine also calculates your body fat percentage, which was right near the bottom of the normal range. I can't read my chart very well cause it is all in Japanese, so I am not sure what all the numbers are. All I know is that the star for that reading falls in a good place! But the most exciting part is the muscle mass. On the little level scale, my star was on the 8 for 1 out of 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My arms alone scored an 8 and legs scored a high 6!!!! I was so excited about this. I've been doing simple weights, 3 sets of 10 and some other toning exercises, for over a year now, and it really really shows on this scan.

This machine also scans your internal body fat percentage which is very important. All my reading about weight loss and fitness lately says that they are finding diet without exercise is NOT very effective at removing internal body fat. With diet alone, people can slim down but will retain most of the internal body fat, around your vital organs. So without exercise, you really aren't improving your health adequately. This internal body fat is what leads to disease and is what needs more attention. My internal levels were again on the low end of the "normal" range.

I would give ANYTHING to have these numbers from before I started working out.

All I know is I am feeling GREAT and loving my workouts. I finally found a way to address my feet issues and so am taking care of some toe and ankle pain too. If I had the right shoes, I would be in HEAVEN! I can not find my size in women's shoes in Japan and I refuse to order a pair of shoes online. I want to try them on first! So unless I can get my feet to shrink about 1 cm, I am stuck with my cheapy men's shoes that are too wide, for now.

Well, I think I'm going to go hit the hay!

A new "drink"???

Pepsi Ice Cucumber!

Yes you saw and read that right! a Cucumber flavored drink! they will come up with ANYTHING here. No kidding. I will have to try to post some more of the crazy products we see.

Rocky came home with one today. Ummmm, it actually wasn't bad at all. It definitely smelled like cucumber! It tasted cool and refreshing but I wouldn't want a whole bottle.

Just thought you might find that interesting! (too bad that Hana hates carbonated drinks, she LOVES cucumbers so much she might enjoy this!)

Japan and robots...

This really struck me as quite odd today...

Japanese scientists build robot child

The fact that they built a robot child is not so odd. What is odd to me, the reason why they built it. To study child development??? Um, there are millions of children, REAL, and alive and well out there which a scientist can study to understand their development. I just want to understand HOW a robot is going to give them any form of accurate information on the development of a REAL human child. Is it just me, is this really REALLY crazy?

I wonder how much this says about how Japanese people perceive children? or even real life for that matter?

Another great workout!!!!!!

Ok, so I thought I could never top the other day. My last work out couldn't even compare right!? Well, I topped my best today. I couldn't believe it!

I hit 532 calories at the end of the first 30 min cycle, and by the end of the second cycle had a total of 750!!!!!!!!! I was so excited, one of my little gym buddies asked me what I was grinning about and I told him. He couldn't believe it either. He said, "Where does that energy come from!?"

Today, reaching that mark didn't come as easy as the other day. I never felt like I was pushing myself the other day, today I felt like stopping and had to make myself keep going towards the end. I really didn't think I was going to be able to top the last good one. I'm so thankful for my mp3 player (thanks again sugarpie!!!) because putting on an awesome song gives me the drive to keep going. The music makes such a big difference in my workout too.

I also kept my heart rate in the high intensity zone for almost the whole workout! WOWzers!!!!! somewhere between 85% and 90% the whole time. I'm just a little excited, can ya tell?

Then I found some new muscle toning exercises on the internet so I tried those out today. OUCH! My legs are going to probably be feeling it tomorrow, and my glutes! Switching things up a little sure makes working out more fun though. I need to remember not to get in a rut so I don't lose my motivation again!

I am soooooooooooooooooooo exhausted though, I'm off to bed. I did the sauna after my shower too, boy that'll zap ya. I'm gonna sleep like a rock tonight!

good night

More confessions...

Wellllllllllllllll, I haven't been a good girl these past four days. Weekends are always impossible for working out, so you can't count that against me. I sure wish someone would explain to me WHY my gym stays open till midnight on weekdays but closes at 9 on Saturday and at 7 on Sunday! On the days people might actually have leisure time in the evening to workout, they close? UGH! But anyways, Monday, OHHHH Monday...

I crocheted until past 1 a.m. Sunday night (MISTAKE! I'm not as young as I used to be! and I now have an automatic alarm clock that doesn't come with a snooze button, her name is Hana!) Then, when I came to my senses and went to bed, Rocky wasn't feeling so great and was up almost every hour and that kept me half awake all night. Then there was the fire at 5:30 a.m. and that was the end of my "rest" for the night. I was dragging my tail ALL day long on Monday and could NOT bring myself to go workout that evening. All I wanted to do was sleep. Then Tuesdays my gym is CLOSED!!! Go figure! I'm not even going to try to figure that reasoning out...

Soooooo, that brings us to today, and I did NOT want to go workout again. Another one of those situations where I could have easily said, "I'm not going." Something about dinner (or something I ate today) didn't agree very well with me. Could have been the Dr. Pepper I had a lunch, we were in a shopping center that sells them and I just had to treat myself to one!!! Or, it could have been all the carbs I had at dinner. I made some really delicious rice, with a variety of grains in it, and I ate a whole lot more than I normally do. Sugar/carb overload??? after a year of a low sugar/carb diet, that'll do it to ya. So anyways, I did NOT feel like going. And my precious SWEET WONDERFUL husband, rubbed my tummy for a minute and then helped me decide to get out the door. Have I mentioned how wonderful he is lately??? He's so great. He encouraged me to just go and see how it went, and if I didn't feel well after I started working out to come back home. What a precious amazing hubby!!!

so anyways, I went. And it wasn't too bad. I didn't feel too great on my cardio, and only made it 25 minutes. My intensity was pretty high for those 25 minutes, but right at the end I just didn't feel like it would be wise to keep going. As soon as I cooled down a little though, I felt good enough do my normal weight lifting routine.

It really is a day by day process to be healthy and stay in shape. One meal at a time, one choice at a time, every day!

Tomorrow is ANOTHER day!

Excitement at 5:30 a.m. today

At 5:30 a.m. this morning I vaguely was aware that Rocky opened his phone and made a phone call. I quickly fell back asleep, not conscious enough to think about what he was doing at such an hour. Then a few moments later I heard Hana crying and woke up to see that Rocky was GONE! I ran to get Hana and then realized I was hearing emergency vehicles outside. I put two and two together, Rocky always calls a number to see where emergency vehicles are going, so i figured something was going on outside. As I lay back down in our bed with Hana, I could tell that most of the vehicles were fire trucks, and so I assumed Rocky went to check where the fire was. He eventually came back to report that it was just THREE houses down, on OUR block, on OUR side of the STREET! Now to those of you living in more spacious neighborhoods, this may not sound like a big deal, but here on our block, the houses are literally inches apart from each other, if not sharing walls! So that sort of fire is a major big deal! And at such an hour, it is even more alarming.

Praise God, no one was injured!

We were totally OK and our home was completely safe, but the house that caught fire first and both neighboring houses were significantly damaged. I will try to take a picture sometime if I can, if our neighbor doesn't mind his burned home being put on the web.

Just so thankful that our home is safe and so are we today! It made for a crazy day though. Thing calmed down outside about an hour later, and we snoozed for a little while before it was time to get up anyways. All three of us were dragging our tails today, for lack of sleep!

Silly me, I am on a crochet kick right now, and stayed up till 1 a.m. crocheting last night! That didn't help matters at all today. Too tired to do much of anything at all today, except for have a wonderful lunch with a good friend of mine!

Well, I am off to chill out and hopefully get to bed at a more decent hour tonight. Please pray for the people who lost a lot of their belongings today. They have already begun cleaning up, and it is going to be a long road back to normalcy I am sure.

Rubbish...

What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. Philippians 3:7-9

Rocky's message at church this morning was soooooooooo awesome! I loved it, it really hit home for me after the week I had last week with US immigrations! He spoke from those verses above, and I just needed to be reminded of that. Most of all, to be reminded of what is RUBBISH!

I found myself, when talking about Hana's nationality so much this last week, almost in tears sometimes at the thought of getting her "American passport" or her citizenship being "granted". I am very proud to be an American and would love for my children to have that privilege. Growing up in Japan, their connection to my nationality and my country are going to be very removed already so I at least wanted to be able to show them that they are a part of my country too, in their nationality, with a passport or certificate of citizenship.

But this morning I was reminded that IF that is not possible, it is OK because it's all earthly stuff anyways and that's all rubbish compared to knowing Christ. I'd much rather share with my children our citizenship in HEAVEN, than spend time and precious emotional energy worrying about their earthly citizenship. If the Lord makes a way for my kiddos to be American too, then Glory to HIM! But if not, it won't be the end of the world, that is for sure! For all these earthly things are "crap" (as my husband so eloquently put it in his message this morning, LOL) compared to knowing Christ!

and then at the end of Rocky's message I was reminded of the AWE and WONDER of what it means to be seen as righteous in the eyes of God through our faith in Jesus Christ. Sometimes the power of the word righteous just doesn't quite hit home. I tend to read right over or skip the depth of its meaning when it appears in scripture. But righteousness is an unattainable state for human beings (by ourselves). Yet it is gift wrapped and handed to us by the only one who is righteous, for us to simply receive by HIS GRACE. To take in that thought, it is so profound. WHY ME?! This little spoiled rotten child, that throws hissy fits over not getting my way with US immigration, and finds deep embarrassment in spilled milk at McDonald's (of which are the least of my flaws, let me assure you), seen as righteous by GOD HIMSELF!? WOW!!!

I mentioned that a couple weeks back I had a long conversation with a woman after our concert. She was quite hung up on the fact that God would allow a murderer into heaven if he/she just believed on Christ, but someone like her or myself who have never done something so terrible, would not be allowed in if we did not believe. She couldn't wrap her mind around that, she didn't feel that was fare. My response to that was simply, we are not God and we can not say that any one sin is greater than another. Sin, in the eyes of God, is sin. Because He alone is perfect and righteous. And perfect simply means, perfect, I told her. We can not fathom perfect, for we have never seen it really. Could we even imagine a simple white sheet of paper that is PURELY WHITE, with no blemish or flaw, no mark or anything on it? I asked her if she could imagine something like that in her mind. And then imagine that same sheet of paper with only one tiny little bitty black dot on it. I ask her, is the second sheet perfect anymore? Of course it is not. Now take a third sheet of paper and scribble all over it with a heavy black marker. This one too is no longer perfect, but the one with the tiny black dot is no LESS "imperfect" than the heavily colored one. The perfect one is the only one that is perfect.

To fathom that kind of perfection which is basically righteousness, and then know that when God looks at me, that flawlessness is what He sees!? WOW!

I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

Nothing compares to this! What could I gain on this earth that could compare to what HE alone can give me!?

I was listening to a song earlier this week and the lyrics were talking about things that just seem crazy in human thinking...

Why would I spend my life longing for the day that it would end,
Why would I spend my life pointing to another man?
Isn't that crazy?
(and so forth, but then I LOVE the chorus)

I have not been called, to the wisdom of this world
but to a God, whose calling out to me.
and even though the world may think
I'm losing touch with reality,
It would be crazy to choose this world
over eternity! (Mercy Me)

Said perfectly right there, It would be absolutley CRAZY to choose this world over eternity!

This other song has been playing in my head all day since the message this morning...

Knowing you Jesus, Knowing you
There is no greater thing
You're my all, you're the best
You're my joy, my righteousness
And I love you Lord!

HUGE workout tonight!

Oh my goodness I have NO idea where the energy and stamina came from, but I had an AWESOME workout tonight. On the elliptical, I did 725 calories!!!!!!!!!!! 50 minutes! During the first 30 minute cycle I did 528! I just barely made it over 400 on Wendesday. What on earth happened? I don't know but I love it. There are three little meters on my machine, and I don't know what the middle one is counting because I can't read the title on it, but I usually can not keep the number above 170 for very long (it reads something about the rate at which I am running) but today, I staying over 200 for 6 minutes, and kept it above 170 almost the entire workout and I never felt sluggish!!! After the I lifted weights. ahhhhhhhhh, if only every workout could feel like this one. I hope I can keep this up! That last two weeks of upping my cardio to 50 minutes is really making a difference, I can SEE it in my legs and hips! The scales aren't moving, probably cause I'm gaining muscle, but I am now motivated to keep this up!

WAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I felt like screaming when I ended my run, I wonder what all those around me would have thought if I had hollared out!

Now off to bed, I am sure I am going to sleep VERY WELL!!!

How stupid do we look? (and my fitness motivation update)

Ok, so I get most of my news and US info on the net. I watch news clips and read major news webpages often. And recently there has been this one commercial that pops up before many news clips. It is Brooke Sheilds advertising Colgate toothpaste(I think, maybe it's Crest?) and it just floors me what these product companies will try to pass off on us.

The commercial shows Brooke stretching and so forth being fit, and then brushing her teeth. And then she pops up saying, "Can there be a connection between the health of your mouth and the health of your body?" and then mister narrator comes on and says that recent studies have shown that people with gum disease and other oral disease have a higher risk of having such diseases as heart disease, stroke and diabetes. Then beautiful Ms. Brooke appears again and says, "If there is a connection then I choose Colgate, my Destist recommended it..." yadah yadah yadah!

HOW STUPID DO WE CONSUMERS LOOK??? They want you to automatically assume that using Colgate is going to help lower your risk of these diseases? DO WE ALL WALK AROUND WITH DUNCE HATS ON??? Come ON people! I mean please. Any person with at least 2% of logic can understand that the connection is, some people who don't take good care of their diets and their bodies MAY also neglect their teeth. Not to mention the fact that, the types of diets that can lead to these diseases probably will also lead to tooth and gum disease. PUH-lease!

Ok, my rant is over. I just get so sick of my intelligence being assaulted every time I watch a commercial. Give me a break!

Anyways, life is going along just fine these days. Except for my extremely embarrasing episode at McDonald's today (which will appear on Hana's blog shortly), I am doing great. Busy but good.

My workouts have been AWESOME this week. I must warn you, I'm gonna brag on myself just a little here cause I have accomplished so much since my little slump recently.

Instead of starting to jog as a new challenge (since I have cheapo OLD outdoor tennies that are like walking on cardboard and would probably cause more harm than good with a jog) I decided to change up my routine at the gym a little. I upped my time on the elliptical by 15 minutes (now up to 50 minutes a session) AND I upped the level too! The first day I just ALMOST reached burning 600 calories, the next time I was over 600 and so on. BUT today, I made it to 660!!!!!!! AND I was trucking it during the first 30 minutes before the first cycle automatically ends (cause the silly machine won't let you do more than 30 min) and I had burned 475 calories by the end of the first cycle. I reset it for more time and topped it off at 660 total! AND (this is the part I love the most) I checked my heart rate 10 min. into the workout and I was in the heavy intensity range for HR already, not to mention I was at 85%!!!!!!! I stayed there for the remaining 40 minutes! WAHOOOOOO, now THAT is what I call a workout!

I payed for it later today though. I had to work out this a.m. because Rocky is out this evening, and I don't usually do morning fitness and it gets to me. I fell asleep watching some TV with Hana this afternoon. But I feel great! I also didn't go to bed until really late last night too.

Which brings me to my other GRIPE for the evening. US IMMIGRATION!!!!!!!! AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I had to pray for forgiveness last night (for thoughts of strangulation and torture) about 10 times while trying to get some questions answer by USCIS (United States Citizens and Immigration Services). What a joke, what a load of bull honkey that place is! They can't even answer questions about their OWN process! What is that? And they provide you with ONE phone number to call, at which you get a customer service rep who is just typing your questions into the computer and reading you the answer. I can do that on the internet, the reason I am CALLING you is because that information doesn't answer my qeustion! If you ask them a question that their computer won't spit out the answer they tell you that you'll have to contact a community organization that helps with immigration or a lawyer. So if you try to contact any of those people they tell you "because the extremely complex and sensitive nature of information pertaining to immigration visas we can not answer your questions over the phone, you msut appear in person at our office between so-and-so hours and pay $$$$ to get help!" Somebody help me understand. My tax dollars pay for people to NOT answer my questions about immigration at the immigration office so that I can go pay someone else to do it?! What is that all about!??? This is information that should be free and available to anyone, ESPECIALLY an AMERICAN CITIZEN. And they should provide phone numbers to connect you to people who know and understand the process so you can get your questions answered by someone who knows something.

So here is the deal. I am trying to get Hana naturalized as an American citizen. US law says she is entitled to her American Citizenship because she is the child of a US citizen. She has been in our custody for more than two year so I do not need an immigration visa or any other process, she is already MY child in the eyes of the US law, so he should automatically be an American? Right? WRONG! She is already an American, but I have to file some forms, pay a bunch of money, AND appear for an interview in PERSON before they will approve it. AND get this, there is a SPECIFIC application process for the naturalization of children residing overseas but you have to appear in person for the interview, in the US at the USCIS office that handles your case ON DEMAND, when THEY set the appointment. HELLO!? We live overseas, there is a US consulate just 1 1/2 hours from my home. Why do I have to spend thousands of dollars to fly to the US to appear before a US government official when all documentation SHOWS you that my daughter is my daughter and the law already says she has a RIGHT to her US citizenship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????? OH, did I mention I could strangle somebody?

Anyways, we don't know what to do. Churches schedule their concerts months in advance and advertise for them. If USCIS calls and says we have to come on a certain day, how can we tell a church that has been preparing for months that we have to cancel? And oh I could go on and on. AHH, UGHHH! I have no idea how we are going to pull this off.

In defense of SOME American government offices, I called the US embassy IN JAPAN today and got all my questions answered very kindly a compassionately, to the best of her knowledge, by a very precious young lady named Sarah! God bless her, she was obviously a sister in Christ and she felt my pain about the process and the completely INCOMPETENT USCIS. Dear Lord, bless my precious sister Sarah!

Why did I stay up till almost 2am last night calling US offices someone in Japan could answer my questions?! UGH

Ok, my rant is all done I think. On to other blogs...

I'm here and doing good...

So I haven't had much time on the 'putter lately but I'm here and doing good. I'm sticking with my working out when life allows. Today I couldn't go and won't be able to tomorrow either, if my stinking gym would stay open later on the weekends it would help a little! ugh!

So anyways, we had a neat day today. We attended a memorial service. The amazing pastor I always talk about, Noguchi-sensei, his Mom passed away recently at 102 and 10 months of age! WOW! They were saying today that all her siblings have passed away mostly in their 90's. They have certainly got some longevity genes in that family and I am so thankful, cause I want Noguchi-sensei to be around for a LONG while! Anyways, the service was neat. I got to share about my memories of oba-chan (the term for grandmother, which she so graciously allowed me to call her) and we sang a couple of songs in memory of her. Then this evening we had dinner with the whole family. What a neat legacy she left behind! They are a precious family.

We are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo busy right now. It is a blessing but I haven't had a quiet day at home in WEEKS! I need to do laundry but we are never home.

Just thought I'd leave a little note. I gotta go get in bed, tomorrow is going to be a long day.

Plum tuckered out!

This little cowgirl is plum tuckered out this evening. Starting yesterday at 10 a.m. drive 5 hours to Nobeoka, set up sound, check into hotel, eat dinner, give concert, fellowship, get back to hotel, bathe Hana-baby, get her to sleep (FINALLY at almost midnight!) try to sleep with Hana snoring (she has a slight cold) and coughing and my pillow smelling like cigarette smoke. 7 a.m. today -- UP with Hana-baby, get ready, eat breakfast, pack up, check out, go to church, do another concert, eat lunch, fellowship, drive back home, eat dinner, bathe Hana-baby, put her to bed (at a much more reasonable 9 o'clock tonight)! I then took a LONG hot bath to try to forget about my crazy day! Family band concerts ware me out anyways, but today, on the way home, Hana was especially hyper in the car and for a while talked NON-stop begging for attention and interaction, for songs on her favorite CD to be repeated OVER and OVER and OVER again, for food, for teetee stops, for "Baba, play you!"(play with me) "Mommy, hold you!" etc., she didn't fall asleep until 4:30 (over 2 hours into the car ride home). Then when we finally got back, she wet her pants on the way home from dinner. Of all the days in the last 9 months since she's been potty trained to have an accident, AND IN her car seat, no less! When we got home, we unloaded, and when bringing the car seat in, there must have been a pool of teetee inside it somewhere and as I swung it around to set it down, I sloshed teetee all over a bunch of stuff! EWWWWWw, GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! So I had to clean all that up, tear apart the car seat and put a bunch of things in the wash, wash out the car seat as best I could in the shower, and then clean up the bath tub and run a bath! After the long day we had today I wanted to come home and just chill! NOT! At least Hana was fully entertained by Mommy standing half-clothed in the bath giving her car seat a shower. She thought this was pretty hilarious, unfortunately Mommy did not think ONE BIT of it was funny. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

In the course of all those things, I also messed up on two songs in concert, missed an exit on the express-way coming home (which made us have to go 90 kilometers the long way around) and drank TWO cokes in the last 24 hours. BAD BAD BAD! (I'm really NOT neurotic, or an anal perfectionist, REALLY!)

WHEW, I am sooooooooooooo tired! So anyways, in the midst of ALL that, it was an amazing weekend. I had an awesome opportunity to witness to a woman who is really searching (I'll put that in our newsletter this week over on the ministry blog) AND just really enjoyed the church we were at and the people there.

Now on to another busy week (we have something almost every day this week too).

OH and on a fitness note, as I suspected, no time to work out the past two days, BUT I think all that I went through consititues for some kind of work out! I did do well with eating and food choice except for the two cokes which were for the purpose of keeping me awake on the long drive! I'll hit the gym again tomorrow. I will remain motivated to work out this week! I give myself NO CHOICE.

A new motivator...

Tonight, my sweet hubby played the role of motivator for me. He knows I am struggling with wanting to go work out. So you know what he did? He brought home for me a yummy dessert to have after dinner. He's been talking about bringing me one of these little interesting strawberry-cream puff-short cake-rice dough covered balls for ages, which can only be bought at Kokura train station. Sounds yummy, right?! Only if you are a strange "gaijin" (foreigner) like myself! So anyways, he finally had the chance to bring some home today, and it was indeed delicious by the way. So just HOW does this add up to being a supporter and motivator for working out, you ask? Since I had all that fat and calories for dessert for dinner I could NOT say no to getting my rear up to that gym and burning those calories off! Which I did, to the tune of 10 minutes on the treadmill (waiting for an eliptical trainer to open up) and 35 minutes on the eliptical. Burned over 500 calories there, and lifted weights! Yea for me!!!!!!!!!! Thank you sugarpie, the dessert was yummy AND a GREAT motivator!

It's going to be a long, busy weekend with concerts so I doubt I will get to go back to the gym until Monday.

Interestingly enough, there are two little buddies of mine at the gym who also keep me accountable. When they don't see me at the gym they pick on me and ask me where I was. These two fellows are very devoted to their fitness and have been a great encouragement to me. Telling me they can see how much weight I've lost or that I'm doing good building muscle, etc (and not in a bad way, but purely encouraging and complimentary). I always try to take the chance to get to know them a little better when we are resting between machines and drinking water or stretching. It's not easy to build any kind of meaningful conversation in short little 3 or 4 minutes spurts, but tonight I was able to find out a little more about one guy, and he asked about what I do. It is a start in introducing them to my faith! But I never thought I'd have to figure out a way to evangelize with this pattern, 3 or 4 3-4 minutes relationship building conversations 3-4 times a week! Anyone know any 3-4 evangelism training tools?! There are so many out there, theres gotta be one especially designed for this! ;) just kidding!

Anyways, I continue to get along in this "no motivation" slump I'm in. I refuse to let it get the best of me, and I WILL not go back to the lifestyle or SIZE that I was before. So I will survive one way or another...

One day down...

Ok, so my confession last night did the trick (at least for today). I hit the gym this morning and did 50 minutes on the eliptical. Yep that's right FIFTY, burned about 600 calories! and it felt great! I am feeling motivated to go again tomorrow. Even though it feels so great to do a workout like that, I so quickly forget the lift it gives me and even the next day am fighting myself mentally about working out again... why?!

I used one of my "tricks" I used to use early on in this lifestyle change I made, I gave myself NO CHOICE. When I first started working out this last year, I knew from past experience if I ever skipped a day, then I'd skip another, and another. So I gave myself NO CHOICE, I had to go workout EVERYDAY. Or if the gym was closed or schedule wouldn't allow it, I got out my little stepper thingy here at home and did that for a while. I read an article by Chris Freytag saying that fitness is commitment, consistency, and convenience - read it here. In her consistency segment, she suggested working out every day, even if it is for only 10 minutes. That was one of the best bits of advice I read about fitness. No questions about it, no matter how much I mentally tried to talk myself out of working out, I told myself I had no choice. It is all so totally mental!

and, it is a day by day process too! I tackled a new mindset, new eating habits, new fitness habits and self-image one day at a time over the last year, and I can't stop that now. Tomorrow will be another day...

Confession

Ok, so maybe if I confess it will make it better. I've been bad, REALLY bad! I haven't gone to workout since Friday. Last week I went 3 times, but the week before that I COULDN'T go at all (because of Japanese holidays and our schedule) and somehow that made my motivation go right through the floor. I mean I have NO motivation to go. I'm going tomorrow whether I like it or not! NO QUESTIONS asked, no ifs, ands, or buts about it! Technically I could have gone tonight and I chose not to. BAD BAD me!

Ok, there I feel a little better, now the question is will this motivate me to be a good girl now? For some reason I doubt it. part of the problem is I am totally stalled. I am STUCK at 62 kilo and feeling good, looking pretty good so I'm too comfy here. I wanted to get down a couple more before summer and then be done (of course maintain) but at this rate, I'm gonna be stuck here forever. I can not motivate myself to eat as well as I was over the last year, and I can't bring myself to work out as dilligently as before.

Where'd that motivation go??? COME BACK COME BACK COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIRTY-TWO???

That is just WILD! I turned 32 today. I can NOT believe it. I have recently been getting back in touch with a few old High School friends and it seems unreal to me that we graduated 14 years ago! I never thought I would be an adult. I still feel like I'm 16 or so. It amazes me sometimes when I stop and think about the fact that I am a wife and mother and am responsible for my family and a household! Not to mention the ministry that we do. I'm not really this grown up, am I???

I had a wonderful day though. Rocky gave me my birthday present early so I didn't get any presents today, but he did a lot of little things for me all day, he washed the lunch dishes, and took care of some of Hana's little needs, and let me take a nap this afternoon! Plus he took me out to eat at a fancy Italian restaurant for dinner! AND I got to go to the gym tonight for the first time in over a week (because of our schedule and Japanse holidays) so that was a treat too!

I'm so blessed in my short little 32 years of life. I look forward to what the next 32 years holds...

I discovered a nifty little website today call MapMyRun.com and it is so handy. I wanted to see how many miles I am walking when I take Hana to and from preschool everday now. It turns out I walk one mile round trip, so that is two miles total most days. Not bad I guess. But I decided to map out a "run" if I were to get brave enough to try and start jogging and I am so tempted to go and actually try to jog it. I could run from her to the park over near Rocky's parents house, run through that park and take another route back home and it would be 5 miles. I am stalled on my weight loss right now and really just have about 3 more kilo (6 or so pounds) to lose to reach my final goal. So I am contemplating running as a change of pace to maybe get me motivated again and get my metabolism to change a little. I am still going to the gym but just don't seem as motivated to push myself too hard, and I have relaxed a LOT on my eating. I know from experience that if I throw in a new challenge I'll be more motivated to behave!

Anyways, enough about me. I'm off to blog about my sweet little Hana!

My Visual DNA...

This was pretty cool, and the profile at the end pretty much nailed me! You should try it, it's fun!

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