A new motivator...

Tonight, my sweet hubby played the role of motivator for me. He knows I am struggling with wanting to go work out. So you know what he did? He brought home for me a yummy dessert to have after dinner. He's been talking about bringing me one of these little interesting strawberry-cream puff-short cake-rice dough covered balls for ages, which can only be bought at Kokura train station. Sounds yummy, right?! Only if you are a strange "gaijin" (foreigner) like myself! So anyways, he finally had the chance to bring some home today, and it was indeed delicious by the way. So just HOW does this add up to being a supporter and motivator for working out, you ask? Since I had all that fat and calories for dessert for dinner I could NOT say no to getting my rear up to that gym and burning those calories off! Which I did, to the tune of 10 minutes on the treadmill (waiting for an eliptical trainer to open up) and 35 minutes on the eliptical. Burned over 500 calories there, and lifted weights! Yea for me!!!!!!!!!! Thank you sugarpie, the dessert was yummy AND a GREAT motivator!

It's going to be a long, busy weekend with concerts so I doubt I will get to go back to the gym until Monday.

Interestingly enough, there are two little buddies of mine at the gym who also keep me accountable. When they don't see me at the gym they pick on me and ask me where I was. These two fellows are very devoted to their fitness and have been a great encouragement to me. Telling me they can see how much weight I've lost or that I'm doing good building muscle, etc (and not in a bad way, but purely encouraging and complimentary). I always try to take the chance to get to know them a little better when we are resting between machines and drinking water or stretching. It's not easy to build any kind of meaningful conversation in short little 3 or 4 minutes spurts, but tonight I was able to find out a little more about one guy, and he asked about what I do. It is a start in introducing them to my faith! But I never thought I'd have to figure out a way to evangelize with this pattern, 3 or 4 3-4 minutes relationship building conversations 3-4 times a week! Anyone know any 3-4 evangelism training tools?! There are so many out there, theres gotta be one especially designed for this! ;) just kidding!

Anyways, I continue to get along in this "no motivation" slump I'm in. I refuse to let it get the best of me, and I WILL not go back to the lifestyle or SIZE that I was before. So I will survive one way or another...

One day down...

Ok, so my confession last night did the trick (at least for today). I hit the gym this morning and did 50 minutes on the eliptical. Yep that's right FIFTY, burned about 600 calories! and it felt great! I am feeling motivated to go again tomorrow. Even though it feels so great to do a workout like that, I so quickly forget the lift it gives me and even the next day am fighting myself mentally about working out again... why?!

I used one of my "tricks" I used to use early on in this lifestyle change I made, I gave myself NO CHOICE. When I first started working out this last year, I knew from past experience if I ever skipped a day, then I'd skip another, and another. So I gave myself NO CHOICE, I had to go workout EVERYDAY. Or if the gym was closed or schedule wouldn't allow it, I got out my little stepper thingy here at home and did that for a while. I read an article by Chris Freytag saying that fitness is commitment, consistency, and convenience - read it here. In her consistency segment, she suggested working out every day, even if it is for only 10 minutes. That was one of the best bits of advice I read about fitness. No questions about it, no matter how much I mentally tried to talk myself out of working out, I told myself I had no choice. It is all so totally mental!

and, it is a day by day process too! I tackled a new mindset, new eating habits, new fitness habits and self-image one day at a time over the last year, and I can't stop that now. Tomorrow will be another day...

Confession

Ok, so maybe if I confess it will make it better. I've been bad, REALLY bad! I haven't gone to workout since Friday. Last week I went 3 times, but the week before that I COULDN'T go at all (because of Japanese holidays and our schedule) and somehow that made my motivation go right through the floor. I mean I have NO motivation to go. I'm going tomorrow whether I like it or not! NO QUESTIONS asked, no ifs, ands, or buts about it! Technically I could have gone tonight and I chose not to. BAD BAD me!

Ok, there I feel a little better, now the question is will this motivate me to be a good girl now? For some reason I doubt it. part of the problem is I am totally stalled. I am STUCK at 62 kilo and feeling good, looking pretty good so I'm too comfy here. I wanted to get down a couple more before summer and then be done (of course maintain) but at this rate, I'm gonna be stuck here forever. I can not motivate myself to eat as well as I was over the last year, and I can't bring myself to work out as dilligently as before.

Where'd that motivation go??? COME BACK COME BACK COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIRTY-TWO???

That is just WILD! I turned 32 today. I can NOT believe it. I have recently been getting back in touch with a few old High School friends and it seems unreal to me that we graduated 14 years ago! I never thought I would be an adult. I still feel like I'm 16 or so. It amazes me sometimes when I stop and think about the fact that I am a wife and mother and am responsible for my family and a household! Not to mention the ministry that we do. I'm not really this grown up, am I???

I had a wonderful day though. Rocky gave me my birthday present early so I didn't get any presents today, but he did a lot of little things for me all day, he washed the lunch dishes, and took care of some of Hana's little needs, and let me take a nap this afternoon! Plus he took me out to eat at a fancy Italian restaurant for dinner! AND I got to go to the gym tonight for the first time in over a week (because of our schedule and Japanse holidays) so that was a treat too!

I'm so blessed in my short little 32 years of life. I look forward to what the next 32 years holds...

I discovered a nifty little website today call MapMyRun.com and it is so handy. I wanted to see how many miles I am walking when I take Hana to and from preschool everday now. It turns out I walk one mile round trip, so that is two miles total most days. Not bad I guess. But I decided to map out a "run" if I were to get brave enough to try and start jogging and I am so tempted to go and actually try to jog it. I could run from her to the park over near Rocky's parents house, run through that park and take another route back home and it would be 5 miles. I am stalled on my weight loss right now and really just have about 3 more kilo (6 or so pounds) to lose to reach my final goal. So I am contemplating running as a change of pace to maybe get me motivated again and get my metabolism to change a little. I am still going to the gym but just don't seem as motivated to push myself too hard, and I have relaxed a LOT on my eating. I know from experience that if I throw in a new challenge I'll be more motivated to behave!

Anyways, enough about me. I'm off to blog about my sweet little Hana!

My Visual DNA...

This was pretty cool, and the profile at the end pretty much nailed me! You should try it, it's fun!

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Drum roll please..........................

MY NEW KITCHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



You can NOT imagine how excited I am. It is awesome, sosososososososososo AWESOME!!! I absolutely LOVE the drawer system in the lower cabinets. I got ALL my mixing bowls, serving bowls, strainers, and pyrex baking dishes in ONE drawer! And they are so easy to take back out when I need them, because I can pull them out from above!

My burners LIGHT when I turn the knob!

My sink faucet doesn't fall off every time I turn on the water!

It isn't ugly pugly green anymore! and I have extra counter space, which you can't see all of in the picture but we had our friend extend the counter out to the right where the fridge used to be! You see the beginning of it to the right of the stove. We put some extra counter top on top of one of our newer cabinets we just bought after we married, and it extends all the way to the wall! I feel like I have a brand new house!

What an incredible dream come true for me. Glory to God and praise HIS might name for all the amazing ways He provides for us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A mother's heart....

(this first paragraph from Hana's blog, and then some Mommy thoughts at the end)

Well Hana had her first death in the family tonight. For Christmas Baba gave Hana a little ceramic dog that barks when it detects motion. I wondered how long he would last. He was supposed to be perched in our entryway to announce visitors, but there was no way I was going to put him there where he would also wake up a little girl all the time. And Hana also would not have stood for bow-wow living in the entryway. For weeks she has carried this puppy around as a toy, feeding him, putting him to bed, giving him baths (in available card board boxes) and just generally loving on him like she does all her favorite dolls and stuffed toys. I was amazed that a ceramic dog was so appealing to a two year old, but she loved him. Probably partially because he was a gift from one of her favorite people. Well tonight while preparing herself and bow-wow for bed, Hana was carrying him and she tripped and fell on top of him. Mommy was at the gym, so Daddy was on hand to witness the event, and unfortunately bow-wow broke! Daddy says she was really upset that bow-wow met with the end of his life as her toy. We could glue him back together, but I think he would just meet the same fate again soon, and I would rather her not keep playing with a cermaic toy (although sturdy it was) so we are going to bury bow-wow tomorrow. Or maybe just let bow-wow disappear overnight.

I'm so sad for her, that something so precious to her has to go away. I understand now so much of what my own mother went through in my childhood. She used to be so happy with me, often happier than I was when I had some great thing happen to me. And she also grieved with me, when sad things happen, and I often wondered why SHE was crying about my cat dying or my brother's dog being run over, etc. She would always tell me that what made me happy made her happy and what made me sad made her sad. Now I understand. If I had been here when bow-wow broke, I probably would have cried with Hana. I cry when she gets shots, or just when having to be checked by a doctor makes her so upset. When she is sick, I think I feel worse for her that she feels so miserable, than she probably actually feels. And when she is happy, my heart soars!

Now I understand Mom!

One more blog today...

Don't miss the earlier blog entry about our great day trip but I had to blog again about something more exciting! God is providing for us in amazing ways again! He's made a way for us to get our kitchen remodeled, when we thought it was going to be several years before we could get this done! Praise praise praise! Because truely, my gas stove was so old and falling apart I was concerned about safety, and the Lord is providing for us to get all new cabinets and a new stove! In about two weeks I won't have to use a lighter to light my burners anymore, the handle won't pop off of my faucet every time I use it anymore, and I won't have to kick anymore cabinet doors to get them to shut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here is what our kitchen looks like now...


and here is what it is going to look like very soon (except without the dishwasher in the middle, and the sink and stove will be reversed)


I am so excited I can hardly contain myself!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more 70's puckey green! AND the lower cabinets are drawers! This new cabinet system is so popular in Japan because it is so much easier to store things down low in drawers, and I never dreamed I get to have all new cabinets with the drawer system, THIS SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have I mentioned that I am excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Day trip...

We had an AWESOME day today! A local pastor has been wanting to take us to his hometown to meet his family and see his land so we set a date and headed off this morning for a two hour drive. Sensei comes from the "kuuuntry" (a.k.a. the boon-docks, ten buck two, the middle of nowhere, etc.) It is really rare to see areas this rural for us, we are often in the city here. Oh, it felt like home for me today (if it had been flat and windy, an a lot less green that is). But the fact that their neighbors where at least 100 paces away, the roads where barely wide enough for two cars to meet, and sensei kept giving me directions in distance instead of landmarks, made me feel right at home! We LOVED it! It was a day full of lots of clean fresh air, beautiful scenery, no need to hurry, lots of good food and a good ol' hot spring bath. Talk about a GREAT day!

Sensei comes from a family of 6 brothers and sisters. We met three of his sisters today and they fed us and spoiled us rotten! We had a great time getting to know them, and eating their wonderful home cooking. There is just something about the hospitality of kuuuntry folk, you just can't beat it.

We ate lunch at Sensei's sisters house, which is on the land where he was born and raised. He took us walking up into the mountains where he used to play as a child. Showed us the natural cold spring that feeds a creek he used to play in, a small piece of land that he owns and took us down the tiny narrow road that he used to take to school as a child (by the way it took him ONE HOUR to walk to school everyday, no such thing as a school bus here!) Then we went to visit his old elementary school and Jr. High. Another sister works at a hotel where they have hot spring baths so we stopped in there and had a relaxing bath, then went to another sisters house for a "light" dinner (NOT!) I am so stuffed it feels like I just got home from Granny's house at Thanksgiving!

It was so wonderful to have such a leisurely relaxing day, but at the same time getting to know his family and sharing our lives with them was a ministry to them too. We laughed and carried on, and Hana charmed them all! We got to love on them today and fill their homes with the Spirit of Jesus peace and grace. We even sang songs to "pay for our meal" at both homes where we ate and they loved it. It was such an awesome day.

We dream of having a retreat cabin in a place like that some day. A place to escape to for a short time, that is so peaceful and beautiful! You can take the girl out of the country but you can't take the country out of the girl (or her Texas loving Japanese husband... hahaha)

I don't often realize how much I miss the country but I guess I do. Today was so wonderful, we made Sensei promise to take us back again sometime soon!

Flowers at a local country club, breathtaking!

Just under this bridge is the origin of the natural spring Sensei used to play in.

The view from a small opening in the forest near Sensei's land (there are more mountains in the background that you can't see cause it was a little hazy)

Hana walking down the small forest road in front of the land.

That small mountain in the middle of this picture is his land.

Thought you might enjoy...

My hubby's beautiful cherry blossom pictures! He's a pretty good photographer, gotta get him a good camera!!!!!! (someday soon sugarpie!)

My hubby's birthday!

Today was my sweet hubby's birthday! We spent the day with friends, and went to Costco! That is one of our favorite places and we had a great time today. We came back and celebrated with dinner together. It was so much fun.

Every year at Rocky's birthday I am reminded of something very interesting. I am reminded of how amazing it is that he is here and I got the chance to be married to him.

You see, the school I first worked at here in Japan is called Seinan Jo Gakuin and they have a chapel high up on a hill. This chapel, during WWII was supposedly taken over by the Japanese Military and was being used as a major communications hub. Our city, Kitakyushu, was bombed heavily because there are a lot of steel making factories here. I have been told by several people that the city of Kitakyushu and more specifically THAT CHAPEL up on the hill was the original target of the atomic bomb that was dropped on Nagasaki. The day the plane flew over to drop the bomb, it was cloudy here in Kitakyushu and the pilot could not see his target so they moved on to Nagasaki. If the bomb had been dropped that day, Rocky's Dad was two years old and lived a few miles from that location. He likely would NOT have survived, and the course of history would have been changed. Rocky would never have been born. Even IF Rocky's Dad HAD survived, the school would have been destroyed and so many people who have played a part in that schools history as well and it may not have continued so that I would eventually come there one day to serve as a missionary in Japan!

There is no telling how many other things the Lord orchestrated to protect our mother's and father's before we were born, and then to protect us throughout our lives to bring us to where we are now. But when you know a fact as powerful as this one, it is eye opening.

I am so thankful for my precious husband's birthday. So thankful that he was born and we were brought together!

Happy Birthday, Sugarpie!!! I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!! I just can't help it! You are a precious and thoughtful husband, an amazing father and such a sweet best friend! I've spent 7 of your birthdays as your wife and I look forward to AT LEAST 70 more! (Would that make you 106??? *wink, wink*)

hugs and kisses,
Your Sugarpie

A child of God...

There is one very special pastor here in Japan whom God allowed me the priviledge of knowing since my first year of service here. Sensei is so amazing. I always say I wish I could clone him and have about 100 more just like him. To put it in a few words this amazing man just adores Jesus! Everything he does is all about his Lord! He is kind and caring but straight forward and strong. He is so respected by so many and so loveable! Sensei is so precious to me.

Last year his wife passed away. It was powerful to watch him lose his wife with such grace. He did not tell anyone outside his immediate family that his wife had passed away because an engagement ceremony for a young woman in his church was scheduled for the very next morning. He blessed that couple and enjoyed the fellowship at the church and did a normal Sunday worship and message, while holding his grief at bay. I'v never known someone that gracious and giving. The next week he was at a concert we did. He had made a commitment to help at this conference and did so with true joy even though he was still deep in the fresh grief of his loss. I gave my testimony of losing my Dad at that concert and I could only look at him once as he was weeping in the front row on my far left and it was all I could do not to break down sharing in his grief! That day giving my testimony was one of the hardest in a long time. Later as we sang songs like Amazing Grace and Sweet By and By he sat in his seat with his arms raised high in worship to Jesus with tears just streaming down his face! That was a powerful picture of true worship to me!

This last Sunday he came to our Afureru! meeting and told us that his mother, who was 102 and 10 months old, passed away this week. For years he has also been caring for her and lately she has had a lot of demintia. Through out caring for her and his wife, Sensei conintued to pastor a church and serve other ministries all over. He is in his 70's but Rocky and I say it is like he is 17, he has so much energy.

His mother's passing was a powerful testimony at the hospital where she died. She loved the Lord too, and even in her latest stages of severe demintia, she had no problems remembering the words of hymns. When Sensei would go and visit her during her last month, he said she was totally unresponsive unless he would sing her a hymn and she would seem to try and sing along although she was in a deep coma. Also, at her passing when the heart monitor had been flat, a pastor was praying and when he said "Amen" her heart beat three more times. The doctors and nurses were at a loss to explain it and all were deeply moved.

As I talked to him on Sunday he said, "My wife is gone, my mother is gone and I also just retired from a church. For the first time in my life I am on my own. I have to find out who I am. I was a son, a husband, a pastor, now I am just me." At this point I was about to say to him that he needed to take it easy and take care not to get depressed. I was going to warm him that he might experience some issues similar to culture shock or post traumatic stress syndrome. But before I could say anything else, this is what he said... "I look forward to it. I am going to bask in finally being simply A CHILD OF GOD. Simply that, and that's all. I really really look forward to exploring what that is like."

WOW! I pray that if I ever find myself at that point in life, I can have such a precious and sweet outlook on what lay ahead. Instead of focusing on his loneliness, or expecting sorrow and difficulty, he is looking forward to being alone, to just being a child of God...

TEN years

I am feeling a bit sentimental lately. Thinking back on lots of things. I think what has triggered it is that this year marks 10 years since I came to Japan. Except for spending about 10 months back in America between my mission term and Rocky and I's marriage, I have spent all that 10 years living in Japan. Almost 1/3 of my life has been spent here. WOW!

Ten years is a long time. It seems like I have been here 2 or 3 years maybe. Time really flies when you are having fun. I mean it REALLy flies.

I was thinking back on a lot of things today for some reason. A lot of "if...then" type of stuff. For example...

If my Dad hadn't passed away of ALS, my relationship with the Lord would not have changed so drastically when it did.
If my relationship with the Lord had not changed so drastically I wouldn't have been as involved in church when our college group went to Passion '97.
If I hadn't gone to Passion '97 I wouldn't have received the call on my life to missions when I did.
I was called to missions so I applied to become a Journeyman with the IMB
They sent me to Japan
In Japan I met Rocky
I married Rocky
and on and on and on...

WOW!
ten years

If you had told me even 11 years ago that I would become a missionary I'd have laughed in your face. If you'd told me I would someday speak another language fluently, I would never have believed you. If you had told me I would marry a Japanese man (or anyone not American) or that I would live in a foreign country or any of these things, I'd have declared you insane on the spot. NO WAY. Not this small town girl. I wanted something different in my life, something with a little more adventure, but not THAT MUCH adventure!

What an incredible ride it has been, and it is just beginning really. WOW

7 years and going strong!

On this day, in 2000, I married my sweetheart! I can not believe it has been SEVEN years! At times it seems like it was just a few weeks ago and other times, I can't imagine a me without him. How did I go 24 years without this part of myself???

We had a busy day, but at some point today I thought back to what I was doing 7 years ago today. I got up VERY early the morning of our wedding day to take a long hot bath. Taking a long hot bath was my thing as a single person. I LOVED long hot baths, any time of day, as long as I wanted, because there were no other responsibilities, no one else to take care of or think about. So on that morning it was like my last time to enjoy totally single-person non-responsible time all to myself. Granted, I had to get up at 4:30 in the morning to enjoy it, but I did. Me and my Dr. Pepper and my Bible! It was wonderful. Then I headed off to my hair appointment at 6:30 am and then up to the church. I had plenty of time to put on my make up and hang out with my brides-maids. We took all the pics before the ceremony. The wedding ceremony was AMAZING, even with a few small glitches, the time to greet everyone who came to the wedding and enjoy the cake and fellowship at the reception seemed to just fly by and we were off on our honeymoon. It was by far one of the most incredible days of my life. I didn't have even an ounce of nerves or doubts, just pure and total JOY. I was marrying the man of my dreams!

He is still that today and more. 7 years of marriage have only made me love him more. We have been through so much together. Starting this ministry having no idea where our month to month financial and physical needs would come from. Years of trying to conceive and then the intense and unbelievable wait for our precious daughter. CD projects, national and international concert tours, countless Bible studies and concerts, and more that I can't think of at this late hour.

I'm so thankful for EVERY step of the journey and I so look forward to the future with this amazing man!

Once when I was in my teens and totally frustrated with dating and boys, I asked God to just show me the man He had planned for me in the future. I thought if I could just see a glimpse of his face, know he existed, and be content that he was out there somewhere, it would somehow make all the junk I was going through easier to deal with. I thought it would make the wait easier. I never could have imagined what I would have glimpsed that day if God had shown me. I think it would have blown me away! But today it blows me away because my life is so amazing and my sugarpie is so amazing!

Thank you Lord Jesus! You have totally blessed me above and beyond. I can't imagine what is to come.

A rare sight...

Every once in a while I see something in Japan that is so out of place, it GRABS my attention. This evening after I dropped Rocky off at a Gospel music class, Hana and I stayed in the shopping center where the class is held to have dinner and walk around a bit. As I was wheeling Hana down the corridor in her Mickey Mouse car/entertainment center (you gotta see these strollers, someday I'll take a picture), something caught my eye. There were small benches in the middle of the corridor for shoppers to stop and have a rest and there sat an older couple. The first thing that struck me as odd was they were smiling and laughing with each other, as I took a closer look, they were sitting close to one another and the man had his hand on his wife's knee, patting it and affectionately holding onto it as they laughed together. I found this sight so surprising a smile spread wide across my face. They noticed my smile and smiled back and then began to adore my sweet little cart occupant.

Those of you in America are probably thinking, "Now what was so odd about that sight?" It shouldn't be such a unique thing to see, but I can confidently say I have never seen a married couple, especially older, show each other that sort of affection in public and enjoying each other's company. I rarely see couples even speak to each other, so to see them talking and laughing together was also quite unique. It warmed my heart, and was a bit of an encouragement to see that there may be some happy couples somewhere out there in this country.

I dream WAY too big!!!

but that is totally NOT a bad thing. I think sometimes Rocky wonders what he's gotten himself into though (I don't blame you honey, I'm nuts!). But I always seem to be so far ahead of myself (and everyone else sometimes). I recently looked back on the BIG dreams we had when we first married and I am amazed.

I (and then Rocky) dreamed of building a music ministry where we did concerts ALL over and even had our own CD's. I knew that, through music a powerful impact could be made for the Kingdom of God in Japan. Where are we now? We do about 70 concerts a year, we have 3 CD's out and more to come (as soon as we find the time), and Rocky is active with 3 other bands in ministry as well. We have been all over the US, to New Zealand and Fiji, and all over Japan. In the near future we may be ministering in several other countries as well!

We dreamed of have a studio in our home. Rocky now has all that he needs to produce an entire CD project and has done so for our own Cd's and 4 clients!

We dreamed of owning our own home! We are now living in a wonderful, spacious (by Japan standards) home that God provided in a miraculous way!

We dreamed of making our ministry a 501c3 non-profit organization in the States so that churches and individuals could send us their support. That is now a reality!

I could think of many more now that are happening, have happened, or will happen soon. There are very few visions that I've had that didn't come to pass. That is NOT to say that I am in any way responsible for them happening. It is all because I believe God gave us those visions and they happened because HE made them happen! He is so amazing and so full of grace and mercy.

We started our marriage with VERY little, and these dreams all seemed impossible when we looked at our situation back then. Now I look at where we are and what we do and it's like, "OF COURSE! God can do anything!"

My dreaming never stops. And I have learned now what are the dreams I dream out of ME and what are the ones that come from God! The dreams and visions from Him are different, somehow. Some HUGE things are going to happen in the near future. Get ready for quite a ride! God is just getting started.

Saturday ALREADY!!!!

man time flies. I can not believe it is Saturday already. This week just flew by.

OK, a pat myself on the back.... I ate soooooooooo healthy this week, AND I worked out 4 times!!!!!!! Yihaw! I'm on a role again, and feeling great.

So nothing else really exciting here except that I need to get in bed, and Hana has some cute funnies on her blog so go check them out!

Love ya,
me

Days off!!!

I totally LOVE Mondays, especially when they are nice and sunny. We took off this morning with Hana in the stroller, went to lunch with Baba (grandma) and then walked over to the park near their house. We spent quite a while just letting Hana run around and play, taking our time, hanging out, playing ball, going down the slide, chasing birds and discovering rocks. Then we headed home (a good 20 minute walk or more) and took it easy this afternoon. It was beautiful and warm outside. What a wonderful day.

I hit the gym this evening but all that running and playing with Hana certainly took something out of me. I could tell a difference. But I did my normal work out.

It was a great day!

Bunions and lonliness...

Well, my Mom says that when I was a little girl I had a pair of shoes that I just LOVED and refused to stop wearing them even when they were too little. Because of this, my feet are deformed! HA! Well, what she calls deformed is really just an accelerated case of bunions. Most people have problems with this when they are like in their 60's and 70's. I get the joy of beginning to deal with it in my early 30's. So I went to the Doc today to see if anything can be done to keep it from getting worse. My year of working out dilligently has really bothered especially my left foot, and I just wanted to get ahead of it before it gets out of hand. Well the doctor had no special words of wisdom for me and basically it was a waste of my time and money. But while I was sitting in the waiting area, I witnessed something very interesting about lonliness in this country.

It is very common for the more elderly population to visit a doctors office almost daily in the morning, so they can talk and gossip with their friends in the waiting room. It never ceases to amaze me that they gather and carry on, updating one another on their various ailments, their family members, current politics and so forth. They greet one another with a nan-shalant, "hey there" instead of "fancy meeting you here!" which makes it obvious to us less regular visitors that it is normal for them to meet up like this. Japanese national insurance is very good and medical attention in Japan is relatively inexpensive. Plus doctors humor these folks by prescribing treatments that require them to come to the hospital or clinic often. Things that we would normally be allowed to do ourself at home in the states, Japanese don't or can't do at home, they must go to the doctor. This creates a little culture of people who have made friends at the doctors office and they gather daily or several times a week to hang out. They are pretty lonely I guess.

I had an early morning appointment today so I got to see this daily ritual. A group of ladies were gathered with their little push carts, talking away. I was a little annoyed because I was trying to hear a sermon on my mp3 player through just one ear phone so I could hear when they called my name with the other ear. This proved to be pretty impossible with all that chatter.

The first lady to arrive though, really got my attention. She comes marching in with her little push cart. These little carts are multi-functional, acting as walking support, a miniature wheel barrel for holding their belongings and purchases, and a small seat when needed. She had sticking out of the top of her seat area a large doll, and the doll was talking! This is another recent trend among older aged women in Japan, these talking dolls as companions. They are programmed to respond appropriately to movement, air temperature, and even sometimes what you say. Her doll was one of the largest I'd ever seen and he/she was just a talking away. But that wasn't the most interesting part. What was so eye catching is that she was shamlessly, in public, talking back. She sat down on the waiting bench and turned her little companion around to face her and began talking with her. She'd nuzzle and kiss her, straighten her clothes, brush the dolls "hair" out of her face and so forth. She carried on with this doll until her buddies showed up, much in the same way I would with Hana. It was captivating. She really addored this doll.

What depth of loneliness she must know to need a companion so badly. I sat and prayed for that sweet woman and all the others like her, that they could know their Lord and Savior and the complete peace and comfort that a relationship with Him brings.

Anyone with a chronic medical condition want to come live in Japan as a hospital waiting room relationship bulding missionary?

I broke the house!

There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day to do everything I'd like to do, including keep a more consistent journal on this blog. Sometimes I wish I could either add hours to the day or sleep less or something! Don't we all!!!

I am doing very well though, just busy as ever. Trying to keep up with working out and being a mommy and wife and missionary and cook and maid and driver and friend and on and on, takes so much! But I really enjoy the life the Lord has given us.

I broke the garage door this week though! When we bought this house our favorite thing was the garage door and the fact that is was remote control, not so common a thing in Japan. We splurged a little on it, when remodeling, in order to have the luxury of not opening the door by hand in the rain and so forth. And my biggest fear has been messing it up, since it was so expensive! Well, I finally did it this week, or should I say it finally HAPPENED. It was sort of my fault and sort of not. I was driving away and I heard the sound of something metal fall. It had been a very windy night and I was leaving early in the morning. When I heard the sound, I look all around the car and couldn't see that I hit anything or that anything in the garage was out of place. As I backed out further in to the street I could see that the were lots of things strewn in the street because of the strong winds, so assumed the metal noise I had heard had come from the street. I hit the garage door button and drove off. Well it turns out that a couple of pieces of metal that had been resting against the wall near the garage door had been knocked over by the wind. And one of them just so happened to fall right into the door railing. So as the garage door came down and hit the piece of metal on one side at the railing, it kept going down on the opposite side only and the whole thing buckled and bent. It was a mess. I was a mess when I found out. I felt so horrible. WHY didn't I get OUT OF THE CAR AND CHECK! If I'd just done that, I'd saved us from this huge headache and who knows how much money. Rocky says when the door finally stopped, the whole house shook and it woke him up! I told him, "I broke the house!" He just laughed. I just knew the whole door was going to have to be replaced and it was going to cost us a thousand or more dollars! I was just SICK the whole day and into the next until a mechanic came to check it. He fixed it! Somehow? I don't know how, but he did, PRAISE GOD! We don't know yet how much they are going to bill us, but hey, it can't be a thousand dollars. He was only out there for like 30 minutes. He banged on some spots, cut away a few bent pieces, and somehow got it all working just like new again! I was so shocked and so thankful! Now I don't ever want to drive away until I have seen the door go safely all the way down! ugh

I always thought Rocky would be the one to break something important in the house! hahaha! He has the gift of breaking things. Really, he'll be the first to admit it. He just picks things up to look at them and they break! But no, it was me! I did it. Maybe my husband's "gift of breaking things" is rubbing off on me! (Sugarpie, when you read this, know that I think your talent for breaking stuff is funny and cute! Well, most of the time I think so... at any rate, you're so precious to me!!! hehehe)

Sweet moments with my little girl...

Tonight Hana had a really hard time going to sleep. Her nap was late today AND she slept long, so she wasn't really ready for bed when we put her down. She was SUCH a good girl, not making any fuss, but after about an hour of talking to herself and rolling around a lot she called for Daddy, he went to tend to her, took her potty and put her back down. A good 45 minutes or more later, after talking to herself, clapping and singing songs to herself to stay entertained, she called out some more. So I went to check on her. I took her to the bathroom again, although she really didn't need to go. I put on my fleece jacket to go upstairs because it is pretty cold up there. She LOVES for me to wrap her up inside my fleece jackets, so instead of putting her right back to bed, I wrapped her up, grabbed blankie and we cuddled and rocked in the rocking chair. What a sweet memorable moment. We talked and talked. Today in preschool we did the creation story so we went back over the things that God made. By the way, God made lions and dogs and bears but he did NOT make giraffes (according to Hana). ;) All the while she kept reminding me she didn't want to go to bed, "Mommy, night night all done!" she would say between each day of creation. I would assure her that Mommy would rock her for a little longer, and we'd cover another day of creation. After we talked about how God made boys and girls, and that includes precious little girls like Hana, she decided it was time to go night night. But not without another night night kiss from Daddy, who I promised to send upstairs for a kiss after I tucked her in. I put her down and had Daddy go give her some kisses and we never heard a peep out of her again (finally more than two hours after bedtime). What a special, precious little Angel!!!!!!! Makes my Mommy heart melt!

More QTbaby...

We have started setting up QTbaby a couple days a month at a small shopping center near where we used to live. It is going quite well. It makes for a LONG day, I head out with the car loaded down at about 8:30 am and set up for the stores open time at 9:30. Then we spend the day standing and helping customers until 6pm and head home. My feet are KILLING ME! My precious hubby just gave me a great foot rub though. Each day that we have the store gets better and better. We look forward to watching what will happen from here with this, but it is a great way to get started. I just wish I had more time to devote to it.

Officially down 10kilo!!!

Well for the past three days my weight has been in the 62's. When I joined the gym I weighed 72.6 on my first day. I think I lost 1-2 kilo before I joined the gym but I am counting that first weight as official I guess. So today, in the evening (I always weight the most at night) I was 62.6 kilo!!!!!!!!!!! I was 62.1 this a.m. YIPPPEEEEEEEEE! Bravo for me, I am so excited. My BMI is 21. Normal is 18.5 -24.9

My final goal is 60kilo. I had a goal of being in the 62's by the end of Jan but I hit that early. I will see how a heavier work out schedule will affect my weight before I set my next goal. I was too busy to work out much in Dec. but now will have time to go at my normal rate.

I am amazed at how easy it is to maintain this weight really eating as much as I want of whatever I want. I just keep to my rules of stopping before I over eat, and staying with healthier choices like more veggies and fruits and less carbs and meat. I enjoying all that I am eating, and feel so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tonight we had taco rice and I just kept the rice serving lower and piled on the veggies! It was soooooooooo yummy!

I got my hair straightened today. I'll have to post a picture in a few days when it "relaxes", right now it is SO straight.

Things are going quite well! God is so good to us, and I am so blessed!

odds and ends...

Nothing really exciting to report these days. We had a CRAZY Christmas schedule and now that is all over. We are off to a conference tomorrow for three days. I am really ready for a good break and that will come after the New Year (when we return from the conference Rocky's brother and his family will be here for a visit).

Because of our schedule I haven't been able to work out for more than a week now. OH I HATE when our schedule gets in the way of working out. It can't be helped right now, but when the new year rolls around, I am back at the gym every single chance I can get. I am however maintaining my weight just fine, even with the holidays and all the food. I never over ate, and even enjoyed some sweets! We actually bought Dr. Pepper as a little treat for ourselves, but I am totally in control of not drinking them too much! I don't know why this will power and real desire to be healthy showed up so suddenly this year, but I am SO glad it did. I really enjoy eating right and excercising now. Love it!

Just thought I'd check in. The most adorable photos and news are over on Hana's blog though!

I forgot to add....

I forgot to tell you guys in the last post just WHY my sweet hubby's present is supposed to benefit both of us! The reason is because I was driving him nuts telling him almost daily how much I wanted one! He said it benefits both of us, I get one early, and he doesn't have to listen to me ask for one until Christmas day! He also says I was calling him names like "slow-poke" but I don't think that is true.... hehehehehehehe He's imagining things!

My sweet hubby!

I got an early Christmas present! My hubby is sooooooooooo sweet, and so FUNNY! It was delivered as we were walking out the door the other day and he told me it was my Christmas present but I get to open it early. I thought I knew what it was, I've been asking for an mp3 player so I can listen to music while I work out. But he gave me some hints through out the day while we were gone that had me confused. Then in the evening just before I opened the box he gave me one more hint that had me convinced it was NOT an mp3 player. He said, "This is for the good of both you AND me!" And I'm like, well an mp3 player for me isn't going to benefit him any. Well I open it up and after trying to figure out what it was (I'd never seen this brand name before) I finally found it WAS an mp3 player. It is a TINY little iRiver s10! I LOVE it, I've only been able to work out with it once, but it was pure heaven, to worship with my praise songs and favorite music as I excercised! I think the people around me were slightly entertained by my singing (quietly) and dancing as I worked out!

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!

DECEMBER!!!!!!!!!

The dreaded month of the year when we are always so busy I just know I am not going to make it! This is actually not quite as bad as last year, but it's still pretty bad. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!!!!!!!!

In the midst of concert after concert after concert, I am still determined to keep up my workout and healthy eating. I am doing sooooooooooo good! Portion control, totally under control! I don't know when was the last time I logged in my weight, but I am in the 63's this week! I have decided my final goal is 60 kilo, but I am sure it will take me a while to get there, just taking it slow and ENJOYING feeling so good and being healthy.

Ministry is so fun right now, so many things going on! I am really enjoying the chance to minister to mothers with young kids. We are praying about starting a blog on child raising! So many parents are struggling and just don't know what to do! Yea, I know, like we need ONE MORE thing to do! But this one is so VITAL!

I started advent with Hana today. She loves it! this girl loves the Bible so much, it is so fun to watch her learning and remember stories. Her favorite Bible story is Noah's Ark right now, and every person she sees in her children's Bible, she asks if it is Noah and if it is "rain-rain"?!!! We are going to be reading stories about Jesus all month this month, and today we started with when he was 12 years old at the temple. She kept saying "Jesus uh-oh!" because she understood that he was lost and his mommy and daddy were looking for him!

I am off to bed, my new earlier bed time! We are doing a QTbaby store tomorrow. I will update on how that goes, and details of it later too. We are setting up inside a small shopping center!

about me!

I haven't updated about myself much recently, so I just thought I would say, I'm doing GREAT! I am still loving working out and get really frustrated when our schedule gets in the way of me making to the gym. I'm staying steady with my weight and eating as healthy as possible! I feel good, and if I do say so myself, looking pretty good too!!! hahaha

At the gym, I am up to 35 minutes on the eliptical trainer (level 4, consistent uphill climb) burning over 400 calories on the little machines counter every time! I could do more on that silly machine but the timer won't let me go above 35 minutes. I may start setting myself for another cycle, when one ends, because I'd love to get up to doing 45-60 minutes of cardio several times a week. I have some major thigh muscle going on here, haven't had that since basketball and cheerleading in High School! I look forward to wearing shorts next summer!!! I'm lifting weights doing my arms and back 3 times a week. I have a new ab workout that I am doing 5 times a week that is really tough, but I can see it making a difference. I love it!

If I could go back to eating like I was from May to August, I think I could get down a couple more kilo, but I just don't have the motivation at the moment to be that strict with my diet, so I am eating healthy, but have found the perfect balance to stay right at this weight.

I am so tempted to do something crazy like run a marathon, but that is the last thing I need in my life becuase the amount of time required to train for something like that is impossible at the moment. Our gym goes to a marathon in Hawaii every summer, I am so tempted to train and run in that... I also talked with a friend about doing the Disney World Marathon in 2007 or 2008... my life would have to majorly slow down for that though, and I don't see it happening!

"Yubz youuuu!"

Hana has been good for a while about repeating "I love you" if we say it first. But tonight she was in the kitchen with us after dinner and she ran up to Daddy and grabbed his legs, looked up at him and said with a huge grin, "Daddy, Yubz youuu!" Then she cam running for me and did the same thing. This has got to be one of the most precious moments of my life! My sweet child, of her own fruition, came to us and told us she loves us. I have waited sooooooooooo many years for that! WOW! She steals our hearts more and more everyday! Oh wow!

Today we rode a bus across town to go to a church event. Since we always go places in the car, when we have the time and no need to carry a lot of stuff, sometimes we take the bus because Hana loves it. It must be fun to be sitting up so high with a huge window all to yourself. She also likes observing the people who get on and off. She started saying, "girl, bus, all done?" When someone would push the stop button and then get up to get off at the bus stop. It was so cute.

Oh and that reminds me, she is learning what boys and girls are right now. She'll get on the subject and go through EVERY person she knows asking if they are a boy or girl. It is so funny! She is starting to "get" it but sometimes is way off. Tonight after her bath, she asked if Mommy is a boy, then if Nana (herself) is a boy, and finally if Daddy is a boy! She was so happy when she finally got it right!

Counting and testing!

No we aren't taking any exams around our place these days, Hana is the one doing the testing, she is testing Mommy and Daddy's patience! I don't know what has gotten into her the last couple of days but she is determined to disobey us. UGHHHH! I'm getting so tired of getting onto her. I hope this is a short little phase or something, cause not only does it leave my patience frazzled, but it leaves her really insecure because she HATES for Mommy to be upset with her. She seems to do even MORE bad stuff to get my attention, cause I'm so frustrated I am trying to take a break from her but she wants to see if I am still mad at her. It is a vicious cycle!

But when she isn't being a little pill and we are having fun, she is blowing me away with her abilities. This little girl is COUNTING! She gets it right a lot of the time too. I did not know that a two year old can actually count objects. I know that can often say 1-10 if they've been taught, but to actually answer correctly when asked "how many _________ are there?" well it is amazing me. Even when we aren't asking her, she counts things. Today she was drawing and she took all her pencil out of her cup and counted them as she put them back in! The funny thing is that after 6 she often gets it wrong. she counts like this, "1,2,3,4,5,6,9..." Nine often comes after 6 unless we are helping her count!? Not sure why.

She is also counting backwards because we count the floors on elevators when we go down, so smart!

She is really picking up a lot of English words and using them, I am feeling better and better about her being bilingual all the time.

BAD girl!

I had homemade fried onion rings tonight, fried in Crisco!!!!!!!! OH MY! Won't be doing that again anytime soon, it didn't set well with my tummy! But they were yummy and sort of worth it, I guess

Still staying steady in my weight, and I got into a size FIVE pants this week! Haven't been in a size 5 since early High School I think. OH MY!

A basic difference...

Hana technically went to her first preschool class this last Wednesday. We go for two hours once a week to a program for two year olds at the kindergarten Hana will likely attend. The first time we went for observation and Hana didn't enjoy it much. She was more accepting of the activities this time, but still wouldn't get very far from Mommy. For a child who is so outgoing and active, when she gets around children her own age she becomes really shy and isolates herself. She wouldn't join in any of the really fun activities at all??? It will be interesting to see how long it takes before she will start to join in.

Anyways, towards the end of class an eye opening moment happened for me. Hana is not yet used to the basic flow of the class. At the end, there is a short snack time and all the children who have been attending for a long time obviously know that they are to all sit at the table until the teacher declares snack time to be over with the traditional "gochisosama" at the end of the meal in Japan. Well Hana finished eating what she wanted and jumped up to go and play. I was at the mother's table and out loud, to myself, said in Japanese "I wonder if Hana should remain seated?" (Mommy is still learning the system too). And then I began to take a breath to yell out to Hana to go and sit down. The woman beside me leans over and says, "Don't bother to say anything to Hana. With our children, if Mommy tells them to do something they won't do it, but if the teachers tells her to she well. Let the teacher make her sit down."

My immediate reaction was "What is this woman talking about, of course Hana will go sit down if I tell her to." I was rather confused as to why she would think Hana would obey and stranger and not me. And that is when it hit me, most mothers EXPECT for their children not to obey them. In Japan it is the teachers job to teach the child obedience once they begin school.

I was FLOORED. What a basic fundamental difference in our entire way of interacting with our children. When I tell Hana to do something, I expect her to do it, and she knows she is expected to do it. Hana knows I WILL make her do it, so she usually doesn't even pause before doing what I ask her to. When she is feeling honory, she tests the limits, but Mommy (and Daddy) ALWAYS wins. Rocky and I parent entirely from this basis. What we say goes, no questions asked.

What a completely different way of thinking and interacting with your child. I can not imagine how difficult life would be if I expected Hana to always disobey me. I have seen so many children where this is the case, no matter what the parents say they aren't going to do it. But I never stopped to think that their parents expect them to be that way and won't or don't try to do anything about it. I always thought the parents had just given up long ago. But I am beginning to realize that maybe this is the basic thinking of all parents from the beginning here. A total fundamental difference, but makes a HUGE difference in the entire life of the child.

Rocky and I discussed this, and this is so dangerous. Parents literally set up the world around their child so that the child never has to obey because they aren't expected to. When with Mom and Dad, they can do whatever they want. Once they are older, there is no reason to nor any basic understanding of doing what Mommy and Daddy says. A set up for a totally distructive child! REALLY frightening.

Rocky and I have been thinking and praying about writing a book about child raising. I feel there is still so much to learn, but part of me thinks that time is of great importance here. These parents need to know that they CAN expect their children to obey!

The mind is a powerful thing

9 years ago when I first came to Japan, I made friends with a small group of Jr. High students at the school I was ministering in. They invited me to go to the zoo with them and I agreed to go even though we could barely communicate with each other. The zoo has some small "rides" like we have at carnivals in the states and we enjoyed a day of walking around looking at animals and riding the rides together. Near the end of the day the girls took me on one ride where you sit inside a large cylinder, and the cylinder rotates around you making you feel like you are moving all kinds of crazy directions. This type of "fake" motion always makes me motion sick. I FELT horrible after riding this ride, but was unable to communicate to them what was wrong with me. I guess in an attempt to make me feel better they thought I should eat something. They also thought this would be a good time to introduce me to a new Japanese food, it is called "takoyaki" (pictured right). Takoyaki is small bread balls, with octopus meat in the middle, topped with a brown sauce and fish flakes. I was not used to these fishy smells or flavors yet, not to mention the fact that I was feeling terribly motion sick. Needless to say, it was not a pleasant experience and I was forever ruined for eating takoyaki.

There is another food in Japan that essentially the same thing as takoyaki, called okonomiyaki. I LOVE okonomiyaki and have no problems eating it. But it doesn't matter what I do, I can not eat takoyaki, and I always begin to feel nausious if I smell it or see it.

Tonight, Rocky had a craving for takoyaki and we went to get him some. When he got back in the car with them, I again felt nasious and could very vividly remember the sights at sounds of being at the zoo that day 9 years ago, riding that ride with my 5 little friends.

The mind is such a powerful thing. On Saturday night at a revival service where we sang, part of the speakers message talked about this same thing. The speakers daughter has a hearing impairment, not because of any physical dissability, but because of a tramatic experience as a child that mentally has her blocking out certain vocal frequencies. She can not hear low voice tones. I was amazed at this, another example of the power of our brains.

This pastors daughter is relearning how to hear to vocal tones she is mentally blocking. Can I relearn how to enjoy takoyaki???

Just a random thought...

Toddler Miracle Diet

This is so funny I laughed till I cried, as the mommy of a two year old, this is so close to true!

Toddler Miracle DietOver the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim.Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet.You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet,otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Success!!!

DAY ONE
Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.
Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and aglass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).
Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi.Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.

DAY TWO
Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drinkhalf bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.
Lunch: Eat a half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful ofPurina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.
Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside,drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again.Then bring inside and drop on rug.
Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up yourleft nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat withspoon.

DAY THREE
Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup eat one with fingers, rubin hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass.After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz,put it on the cushion of best chair.
Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit severalbites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.
Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch.Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.

FINAL DAY
Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, anolive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes; add half a cup ofsugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.
Lunch: Eat breadcrumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Findthat sucker and finish eating it.
Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball onplate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

-Carole Libbe

trying this out...

My hubby the photographer, took this little picture of a cosmos flower last week. I'm just trying out my new blogger beta format, so I tried posting this... see how it goes...

A very special day for me....

I did three unbelievable things today...

1. I wore a pair of Jeans I bought in JAPAN!
2. I tucked my shirt in!
3. I wore a belt!

I have never been able to wear clothes bought in Japan, especially pants and jeans. Usually even extra large shirts weren't really very comfortable. I was amazed a few weeks ago to be able to buy some jeans that not only fit me, they were actually a little bit large in the waist.

I haven't tucked in my shirts in like YEARS unless I absolutely had to. I hated how fat it made me look. And likewise, I hated how fat belts made me look, and didn't need them anyways since I wasn't tucking in my shirts. When the belts I owned didn't fit anymore, I refused to buy new ones. BUT today...















So I went back and dug up a picture of myself before I started losing weight. I believe this was when I was the biggest I ever got, probably about 160 pounds, summer of 2005.

I can not believe the pictures of me today are really ME. It seems unreal!!! But so exciting!

Book writing...

At some point several years ago I felt REALLY inspired to write my testimony in a book. I started and didn't get very far. I don't feel like I'm much of a writer, and can't organize the flow in writing, my mind goes to fast for that. when I speak I can get the flow, but writing, I get lost. Anyways, I felt that nudge from the Spirit again this weekend. I need to write it all down and now with our infertility journey and Hana's coming, there is even more to the story. Where does someone start with something like this???? ugh

I guess you just start huh?

A good week...

It has been a LONG week but a good one. We were all a little busy. Preschool homeschool went pretty well, there were days she loved it and days she couldn't be the least bit interested. That's a two year old for you! But we have been invited to also join the one day a week preschool at one of the kindergartens I teach at. I think it is a great opportunity to get to know the mothers, so I think we are oging to do that too. So four days of English preschool at home and one day at the kindergarten. She ought to be thoroughly entertained. I hope. Dealing with the bordom is the hardest for me.

And I need to get some stuff done. I need to clean and finishing getting this house put together. I just don't feel like doing it when I have some free time. LAZY!

workout and weight are solid and steady, but I am losing a little of control over my eating. I need to be eating more healthy stuff. Not gaining weight, but I should just be eating better. I should cook more. Again, LAZY!

I guess I deserve it a little after the crazy summer, but at some point I gotta get back into the groove. qtbaby needs a lot of work, so does my CyberWize stuff. Gotta get with it. ugh

Well things are just trucking along here. We did day two of homeschool preschool today and Hana wasn't really interested in it today. BUT I did it first thing in the morning today, she really wanted to be watching videos instead. Yesterday I waited until right before lunch and she did great, so I think I'll let her get some random play time out of her system tomorrow before I start. You never know with this girl, one day she loves something, the next day she won't have anything to do with it???!!!

All else is well, just trucking along here!

I had the skin scraped off the back of my ankle a couple days ago in a little incident with a door, so I haven't been to work out. I'll go tomorrow!

weighing in at 64 kilo these days. Slowly losing a little bit more weight it seems, but I am eating quite a bit. Yummy stuff, but healthy stuff too, so I'm good

later!

Homeschool preschool

In the mornings Hana has been so bored lately. Imagine that, a summer full of constant activities and surrounded by people all day everyday and now she's bored at home with just Mommy and Daddy! ha! I, of course, have plenty to do but she wants ME to sit and play with her constantly or she wants video's running constantly. I really feel sort of sorry for her. Plus she is showing so much interest in learning these days. She LOVES ABC's and numbers. She loves identifying colors and shapes. I have books and flashcards I use while she is on the potty, and she learns so much there. So I decided to do some preschool acitivites with her in the morning. There is such a wealth of resources for homeschooling on the internet. Most everything I could possibly need is right at my fingertips, I just need to print it out or take the ideas written there and do them. so that's what I'm gonna. I've got my lesson plans done for the next three weeks. But it will all be up to whether she responds well to it or not.

I'm off to bed.
me

life getting back to normal

We finally have things back to normal around here. I'm trying to get the house back in good shape, back into a routine of cooking, Hana potty trained, and back into my workout routine too. But Rocky's is not currently doing a CD project. He's just attending meetings, and networking, practicing with bands he will be performing with, and spending time with US!!! Mommy and Hana love it! We've been swimming once, and eaten most of our meals together, and Daddy has had some time to get in the floor and play with Hana and she has been loving that. It helps me out a lot too.

Sunday's baptism at our church (check out the ministry blog for that report) was so incredible. My hope and energy for the salvation of many in Japan is renewed. I was reminded through this Sunday that GOD does it all, we are just His humble servants. My resolve to share Christ with people and leave the rest to God has returned. Here recently I have had my days where I wonder why we are putting so much energy into doing what we do, when we often see so little change. But then I realize that we go somewhere do a concert and leave, so there isn't a chance to see the results. Yesterday I got to see the results of many other people's years of sharing the Gospel with Mr. Koga. what a joy it was to see before my eyes the life of someone so changed. Just when I needed to see God at work, He showed me. And I realize now I have been seeing him do so many amazing things, but I was too distracted with busy-ness to really see how amazing it all is. God Rocks!!!

I'm staying steady with my weight and eating. Not really losing but not gaining. I'm working out consistently. Trying to concentrate on getting a little more flexible, so I'm stretching a lot. I really need to loosen up in my hips and lower back area. I am as stiff as a board there. Slow and steady she goes.

Happy Birthday Hana!

Today we celebrate my baby girls second birthday. It is amazing to me to think that she was born two years ago today and I didn't even know she existed yet! WOW!!! But I think that somehow I did know because in these few days before we got the call about her I had become so anxious I was almost frantic to figure out a way to get my baby home. As if my heart knew she was out there and waiting for me.

Today she is a rambunxious, happy, smart and sweet little two year old. She obeys really well for the most part (although I am beginning to understand what they mean by those terrible twos). She is not terrible at two but certainly more independent, getting a stronger temper and showing more willpower than before. She LOVES her Mommy and Daddy and showers us with kisses and hugs though out the day. She is start to say "I love you" which is more like "wub you" but it is so precious to hear. Her current fad is the "ABC's" she wants to sing the song about a million times a day and wants to see over and over again, one portion of a certain Mickey video where they sing it. When she tries to sing it her self it comes out (with the ABC song tune) as "A-B-C-A-B-C-A-B-C-A-B-C" and so forth. And where ever she sees writing (whether in English or Japanese) she squeels and explaims " ABC's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I have a set of Baby Einstein learning cards and she can identify the circle, oval, square, rectangle, and triangle when asked. And she can identify one and two. Her favorite number however is two, so every other number after that is always two, unless prompted to say the correct number by Mommy.She still absolutely adores bow-wows, but can identify many many animals. All of them are identified by the noise they make and not their actual name. So cats are "meow, meow" dogs are of course "bow-wow", horses are "neigh-neigh", ducks are "ga-ga" (the Japanese noise they make), lions and tigers are "rahhhh", and so forth.

She absolutely loves Hermie the caterpillar! We watch that movie a couple times a day (she demands it imediatley after breakfast and potty trip are done first thing in the morning) and she would want it to play continuously thoughout the day if I would let her. We discovered hermieandfriends.com and she loves for me to print out the coloring pages for her.

She is just such a fun little girl. She is talking so much now that I can't possibly keep record of all the words she knows. She picks up several new ones a day. She speaks in a mix of Japanese and English. It feels to me sometimes like she is constantly speaking Japanese but really I think it isn't so bad. Most of her nouns are English and her verbs are mostly Japanese. She would be an interesting linguistics study. But Mommy and Daddy are as strict as we can be about making her say things in English before we respond. However, since we understand as readily what she is saying in Japanese sometimes we respond before we realize she said it in Japanese. It is taking a lot of self discipline for us both to reinforce the Enlgish in the home rule we have set up!

I am so amazed to be her Mommy and so thankful to the woman who gave birth to her. She is heavy on my heart today as well as the other family (birth grandparents and other extended) who may be thinking of her especially today. I wish they could also know this precious ray of sunshine and watch her grow. I would love to say thank you to them today and everyday for this amazing and precious gift of my daughter.

I can not believe two years have flown by. I wish I could slow down the clock, and at the same time I can not wait to see what a beautiful young lady this amazing daughter of mine turns out to be.

Back to the three of us!

On Thursday early morning Robynn left us, and then Friday Rocky's brother and his family left. We are now for the first time in 2 and 1/2 months a family of 3. WOW! We miss everybody but it feels good. We are really enjoying some down time, sort of. It will only be a matter of days before we have some concerts and many other regular ministry responsibilities. Life just never slows down for very long. But I don't think I would have it any other way.

My house is looking good now thanks to Robynn!!! The entryway is beautiful and for Hana's birthday she got a new room! I'll have to post pictures later. It looks so good. and in the living room I finally have decorations on the walls. The place looks lived in now! It only took a year! hahaha There is still plenty more to do, but for now the major traffic areas look great, and I couldn't ask for more.

My computer is acting up, so that is why I haven't posted in a while. For some reason today (so far) it is working. So I have to write as much as I can while I can.

In just 2 days my baby is going to be TWO years old. Where does the time go? She is growing sooooooo fast, and I sometimes want to freeze time and sometime can't wait to see how she grows up. She is so bright and beautiful. So smart, and so fun! But at the same time, sometimes she makes me want to pull my hair out. I know that sounds very familiar to every Mommy. She is becoming two in every way. She wants to do everything by herself and on her times. Often times that is OK with me and I am more than willing to help her learn to do it on her own. But when it comes to potty training and eating, we have our days where I wonder how I am going to survive this.

She is talking sooooooo much right now, but so much of that talk is in Japanese I worry. We surround her with English and Rocky and I speak totally in English only to her, but she insists in many cases on using Japanese. Especially when it comes to verbs. Most of her nouns are English though. So we get some mixed sentences. But in some cases I insist that the uses English and she refuses. Like when she is asking what something is, her phrase is "kore nani" which means "what's this" in Japanese. I won't answer her, and respond ALWAYS with "Hana say what's that." but she will NOT say it. She'll keep asking in Japanese and I keep telling her to say "what's that" and eventually she will just mumble something (as if she is answering herself about what that thing is) and then drops it and goes on to something else. It cracks me UP. She can be so hard headed. I wonder how long it will take for her to really get it. I think she fully understands that I am wanting her to say the other phrase but she just doesn't understand that one is English and one is Japanese yet. Maybe? Maybe she fully understands and just has Mommy totally fooled! I wouldn't be at all surprised if that were the case. Whew, this Mommy stuff gets harder and harder all the time!

So anyways, she's a blast. She's talking a lot right now but I never can recall all the cute things she does when I am sitting her typing. I need to write more consistently so I can catch it all! If I can get this silly keyboard fixed I will. But right now it has already messed up really badly during this typing session so I better close out.

On the workout front, I am doing great. I have reached a nice balance in what I eat, working out and weight. I am steadily at 64 kilo and eating more stuff I stayed totally away from before. I finally am back in the gym now that everyone is gone and I have a ways to go to catch up to the level I was at before. I can't do as much or lift as much but it won't be long.

OK I'm outta here for now.

Slowly getting back to normal...

Well, things are slowly returning to normal around here. The CMA girls are gone and we rested a little this weekend. Today Robynn and I painted the entryway! FINALLY!!!!!!!! My entryway is painted! It looks awesome. The walls are a dark beige color and we painted the trip glossy white. I should have taken a before picture, so I could show the difference. It looks sooooooooo good! We get to decorate tomorrow! There is a little bit of trim left to paint but it shouldn't take long. Robynn and I working together we did awesome. I am also tearing up the lenolium on the stairs. NOT easy to do. I bought a spray that helps unstick things, and it took one whole can of spray to do just two steps. We have 13 steps! It also took me about two hours to do those two steps. I will go back tomorrow and ask for something better to get the glue to let loose. This is so fun!!!!!!!

Well that is about all the excitement around here. Just praying the Robynn and I can stay motivated to paint, I feel like I am getting on a role here, I hope I can keep it up.

We are planning to ask for baby #2 soon. It seems the last time I got my house together, Hana came soon after. I wonder if I am suddenly motivated to get this all done cause a new baby will be here soon??? hmmmmmmmmmmm

Working out and eating right are going awesome. I didn't get to work out a lot since we got back, but I went once (Friday) and it felt great. I was too tired today after painting all day and tomorrow they are closed, but I will go back on Wednesday. I'm still doing well eating right, and I am down to 64 kilo (140 pounds) that's down one more kilo!!!!!! I just need to find the balance now. Eating right and working out. I don't really NEED to lose more weight.

We got some new scales and I love them. It does a body scan and tells me body fat percentage, muscle mass, etc. It is really cool all the info that comes off it. I score totally within normal range on everything. But my estimated body age is 33 (I'm 31) so I hope to bring that down with time! It's just the coolest scale, I wish I'd had it since earlier this year before I started working out. It would be cool to see how much all that info has changed.

Ok, I'm off to watch 24, yea! A night of relaxation!

WAY TOO BUSY...

I hardly even have time to take care of myself these days. It is just pure craziness. You'll find on our ministry blog that the CMA ballet girls are here right now. It has been awesome, God is really working through all their ministry events. It is such a priviledge to be a part of it. But we are out and about EVERY single day. Poor Hana, she must wonder what happened to a normal life. She doesn't know what a normal bed time or nap time is anymore because she never got to recover from jet lag and return to normal before the craziness hit. However, she is doing WONDERFUL, being a sweet heart and coping quite well with all the random-ness of these last weeks.

I'm doing great too, I have only gotten to work out at the gym twice since we got back so I am a little frustrated with the lack of opportunity to do my thing, but the two days of dance camp were a pretty good workout. I LOVED the ballet session we had, it was an amazing leg work out. I am very very tempted to take ballet now. I am just so NOT flexible though. I am very curious as to whether flexibility can be attained at this late a stage in life. I've never been flexible. I tried soooooooooo hard to do the splits in cheerleading in high school, never did get there. I got pretty close, after stretching every day for months on end, but never go there. I have gotten quite a bit more flexible in the last months though. Anyways, I may take up ballet. I know I'd love for Hana to do it too.

On another note, Rocky and I are strongly considering home schooling. God is really speaking to us about it in many ways, and we are pretty much decided on it. I think it would take something major to deter us. I am sooooooooooooooo excited. Lots to learn about it, and much to do in the next few years. The hardest obstacle will be the reaction we will get from some of those close to us, especially Rocky's parents. We have already mentioned it to them in the past and they were totally shocked and opposed. Of course that has no bearing on whether we do it or not, but it won't be easy if we constantly have objection and criticism from them about it. So we are praying they will understand.

I am loving ministering with these special summer events, but I can not wait to get back in the gym and pick up where I left off. I am so motivated and it is frustrating not to be able to act on that.

It's great to be back on my blog again too!

I'm back!!!!!!!!

Life is so crazy but I'm here. We got back from the States like a week ago, but it has been non stop ever since. But I am alive and well, the US was awesome, but exhausting, and Japan is just as bad if not worse. We got back Tuesday night, ran around Wednesday and repacked, went to camp with Jr. high/High School Thurs/Fri/Sat, church and afureru today and tomorrow is family band cocnert. I LOST MY VOICE! It is so frustrating to not be able to talk or sing. I won't be singing in the concer tomorrow.

Still on my health kick. I actually LOST weight in Ameirca. Worked out today at my gym FINALLY and weighed in at 65.2!!!!!!!!!!! My last weight was 66.something before left, but in the high 66's. I was so excited, I can not believe I LOST weight in America!!! So all is well on the front.

Now just to survive the next two weeks. The ballet team from Colorado comes tomorrow and we have them for almost two weeks from there, THEN maybe we get our lives back.

Speaking of being way busy, I gotta go get in bed!

bye bye

It's been a while...

But I have been a good girl!!!!!!

Being in the states is rough as far is food is concerned. It is REALLY hard to eat healthy, especially if you are as busy as we are. But I am doing pretty good, all things considered. I think I may have gained a little weight so far, but not much. In the first week back I lost down to 65! My goal weight! I was able to work out every day and eat right. but after that working out has been sporatic, and eating, not so healthy, although I have refrained from over eating. So I feel like I am doing well.

Having fun, but crazy busy! I'll update more some other time.

Hugs!

An all day workout...

Whew, I am worn out. I spent the whole day cleaning, washing, packing, cleaning, washing packing, etc. It was a workout, so I didn't do the stepper tonight, but I did do my ab, butt and leg work while watching some TV. Saturday is now gone, we have two concerts tomorrow (or today I should say) and it doesn't help that it is at a church out of town. Why do we always do this to ourselves! We pack our schedule so tight there is no room to breathe... ugh

Praying that Hana handles tomorrow and then being thrown into this long travel to America the very next day OK. She is such a trooper but is so active right now and being on that plane is not going to be easy for her. She will certainly enjoy America once we get there though. The little stinker is going to be the center of attention everywhere we go, as if she isn't used to that already!

I'm off to bed, gotta be driving away from the house by 8am tomorrow. wowza

Friday has come and gone...

This week is just flying by, we are going to be on a plane before I know it. Oh, I do hope the travel time flies by as quickly as these days are. I went to the 100 yen store today and bought Hana some new "toys" and they are staying hidden until we get on the plane. I hope they keep her at least a little occupied.

workout today...
35 minutes on gym stepper
arms, abs, back, stretching
weight :( 66.4 I didn't get into the 65's. I don't think I will make it to the gym again before we leave so, I guess I can't say I made it to me goal of 65. ugh

Now I have to be strong and not regain anything while in America. Be strong, be strong, be strong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

off to bed, tomorrow is packing day and Sunday we have two concerts. We leave Monday morning. WOW

It's already Thursday!

Oh my time is flying by. We leave for the states in just 5 days! I have so much to do in those 5 days, and it still doesn't seem real that we will be going so soon.

at the gym yesterday I weighed 66.1!!!!!!!!! Just a bit more and I will be in the 65's. I think I can do it before we leave! I will have time to go today and tomorrow, and then probably will have to work out at home on Sat. and Sun. so I need to see that 65 on the scales by Friday cause we don't have a scale at home still. How exciting! It is the first time I have ever lost a significant amount of weight in my life and it feels GREAT! 6 kilo or about 13 pounds! WOW! I've probably lost more, I didn't have any scales at home when I was at my heaviest. anyways, now the biggest goal is to maintain or even dare I say continue to lose while we are in the states. Then once we get back my goal is to make it to 62 kilo and stay there! For a height of 5'9" or 172 cm, I think that is pretty good healthy normal weight. Enough "meat on my bones" to keep my hubby happy, but thin enough for me to feel healthy and happy! It feels strange to be on the brink of switching modes from losing to maintaining. It will be tricky to find the balance of how much of what I can eat to stay the same here. another fun challenge!

Well, Rocky is almost done with Ai's CD too. It is sounding great.

We have English at the kindergarten this morning so I better go!

time flies!

I guess I missed posting yesterday and didn't even realize it. We had a house full of people, an Afureru! meeting. I went to work out anyways while they met. They were planning the Afureru that Rocky and I will miss because we will be in the states, so I didn't have to be in on the meeting. So I did workout yesterday. I felt really blah through my workout though, can't figure out why. And I am also very unhappy to report that the scale showed I gained .5 kilo since Saturday. I have no idea why????????? AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Anyways, life goes on.

Today I worked out at home. Still felt really sluggish and not sure why. We have to leave before 7am tomorrow morning so I am off to bed.

Will life ever slow down? (I say this, and then when it does slow down I am so bored I beg for busy-ness again!)

a great Sunday!

workout:
1 hour on home stepper, 650 cal.
abs

good:
breakfast: CyberWize shake
lunch: curry and rice
snack: a few crackers, glass of milk
dinner: stir fried veggies, salad, a little bit of rice
afterworkout snack (I was soooooo hungry): a few little wafers, glass of OJ

It was a great Sunday, got to take a nap with my sweety this afternoon! that's a rare thing these days.

Gotta get up early tomorrow, so I am off to bed. Just one week before we leave for the states!!!

OH YEAH!!!

I made it to the gym this afternoon while Hana was napping and Daddy was on duty. I'm so excited, I couldn't believe it... I weighed 66.3 kilo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna make it to 65.something by the time we leave. I'm gonna make it! Yiiiiihaw!!!

workout: 35 min on stepper (upped the level today), get this 400 calories burned!!! wahoo!!!!

food:
breakfast; toast and milk
lunch; large salad, veggie soup, half a tortilla
snack, cheese crackers, milk
dinner; mushroom & green onions rolled in pork, steamed green veggies, cabbage with dressing

I ate a pretty big evening meal, I was soooooooooooo hungry.

Nothing else too exciting today. I'm outta here

no time to workout today...

I didn't get a chance to work out today, but I did great with eating so I feel OK. I even went to our church's cafe tonight and did NOT have a piece of cheese cake! YEA for me!!!

So that is about all for today because it already after midnight, we just got home about an hour ago, I gotta go to bed!

busy but awesome day...

this is what my day looked like...

6:30 a.m. get up and get ready
7:30 a.m. leave with Hana to have breakfast with Rae
8-9 TRY to have accountability time with Rae (mostly try to concentrate on conversing with Rae while keeping Hana under control!)
9-9:30 drive across town
9:30-10:30 Bible Study with Mothers at one Christian kindergarten
10:30-10:45 Hang out with the mothers
10:45-11:15 rush further across town to practive some songs with Rocky and Shinya for the chapel we will do together next week
11:15-12:30 practice
12:30-1:00 go back across town to meet a friend for lunch
1:00-2:00 eat with friend (again try to converse while controling and feeding Hana)
2:00 take Hana home for a nap
2-5:30 Hana SLEEPS!!! (YEA, Mommy gets to relax)
5:30-6:30 play with Hana
6:30-7:00 cook dinner
7:00-8:00 feed and bathe Hana
8:00 Hana to bed, talk with Daddy while he eats (he just got home)
9:00 relax a little
10:00-11:30 work out
11:30 bath

now I am doing my own thing, and it is almost 1am, what a day! Craziness, why did I write all that down, I have no idea, maybe to remember someday how hectic life used to be, when I am retired and have forgotten what busy means (yea right like that will ever happen!)

workout today:
55 minutes on home stepper, 4000 steps, 560 calories
abs, legs, stretch

food:
breakfast: spinach bake, toast, yogurt
lunch: small chicken rice dish, salad
snack: a few strawberries with Hana
dinner: scrambled egg with fresh tomato (mmmm yummy! the tomato gets really tart when heated quickly at the end of the scramble!!!), boiled spinach, carrot salad, a little bit of rice

I had an AWESOME Bible study with the ladies at the kindergarten today. My first time to go without Rocky, he couldn't be there. It was neat, I was able to teach a quick lesson in Japan, and then allowed the ladies to ask any questions they wanted to. They had some great questions about Jesus, his disciples, basics about the Bible like what is the Old and New Testament, etc. We also talked about Hana's adoption and infertility, the miracle of babies. It was such a neat time with those ladies. I often feel my Japanese is inadequate for a Bible study but one of the ladies asked a difficult question about why Judas was a disciple of Jesus if He was going to betray him and have him killed. After I explained some things to her, she exlaimed "OH that makes so much sense, I understand now!" I was so honored to hear that comment. I guess in some ways my very SIMPLE Japanese makes it easier to understand these sometimes difficult and deep issues. I was so excited that God spoke through me today in a way she could understand! Thank you Jesus!!! I only get to meet with this group of ladies about 3 or 4 times a YEAR, so I pray they all come back and we can cover some meaningful information in the short times we will have together!

Off to bed, it is after 1am